last wish

My mom was diagnosed with Advanced Lung Cancer 3 months ago and passed on May 14th. I took FMLA and moved in with my parents to care for my mom for those 3 months. My 2 toddlers came with me, for most of the time, to spend quality time with her and to take our minds off of the inevitable. We made the best of the terrible prognosis and I made sure to get her out for rides almost every day to make her as happy as I could. Thankfully she was in no pain, except for the shortness of breath.
Her liters of oxygen increased greatly in the last few days, and she was afraid she would suffer when it became her time. She asked all the doctors what would it be like and how dying would work- they told her morphine would allow her comfort. Her last wish was to pass peacefully and I needed to make sure that happen. She went on Hospice that morning at our house and began morphine once every hour. The morphine made her lethargic and very dazed. She had a rattle or phlegm in her throat that she could not clear. It got louder and her oxygen stats got worse as the day went on. I felt terrible that she couldn't cough that up and I want to know if she suffered? She looked relaxed and peaceful but I am wondering if the morphine just made her too weak to move but she was still suffering from not being able to clear that fluid? That is my last question and I was hoping that someone with a similar situation might know more about lung cancer, the death rattle, and how morphine works. The hospice nurse came in and out during that day and assured me she was comfortable b/c her hands weren't clenched, but I still wonder if the morphine was the cause of the relaxation and she still struggled within.

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Jun 05, 2014
Last wish
by: Maxine

My mother recently passed from lung cancer as well, on the same day May 14th.
Mom went into the hospital April 28th, we all hoped it was just the flu, but for some reason we all took turns staying every night with her. Her oxygen level dropped to 88 on May 11th & they intubated her as well as kept her sedated due to the fact that it was painful. They also tied her arms down in fear that she would pull the tube out, which she did and 17 hrs later passed away. While she was basically slowly dying they kept her sedated with Morphine and said she wasn't in pain, but just looking at the expressions on her face, she looked sad or in pain. When she passed, she had a beautiful smile on her face.

May 30, 2014
last wish
by: Doreen UK

Lung cancer is the one cancer that cannot be detected till it is almost too late. My husband in his 20's worked with Asbestos not known as a deadly material. He cut is on the power saw and the fibres inhaled, grew in the lining of his lungs for 40yrs. which is the starting time for this cancer to become incurable, inoperable, aggressive, and always terminal. I nursed my husband for 3yrs.39days with the worst cancer pain ever. He died 2yrs. ago. My husband was worried also about the fear of not being able to breathe. He had the assurance that this would not happen. But as time went by I had to always ring up for him to have morphine. Many types of morphine he could not take. They weren't suitable. I often had to scream down the phone for someone to come and give my husband morphine and they finished their clinic first and came out so my husband was in severe pain for over 3hrs before being given morphine. My husband didn't want to stay in Hospice care. He wanted to die at home. At home one night nurse did not give my husband an injection and he told me in the morning he was in pain all night. When he was in hospice the care was better monitored. I am sure your mother would not have suffered the way my husband did. It was very cruel how he suffered. Even one good doctor was angry and basically told our GP to get his fingers out and do his job of caring. It was ridiculous to withhold morphine due to lack of funding. My husband really suffered and it affects my grief. But I do believe in hospice care this does not happen. The best care is given. Morphine at home is administered through a syringe driver which keeps the patient sedated so they don't feel the pain. I am haunted by those memories of seeing my husband suffer whilst I held him tightly. I feel that pain of his suffering even though he is not here. We have no control over our memories. They will just fade in time, after shedding many tears. We are going through the motions of everyone who has this normal fear that their loved one's didn't suffer before they died. It is a universal question and worry/concern. No one wants their loved one's to suffer before they die. Many did. But thank God they are now at Peace. It will take us a lot longer to find peace from their death, and the loss of them from our life.

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