Lawrence

by Lawrence
(UK)

It’s been ten weeks since my beloved wife suddenly passed away and I am still in torment with the grief of losing her. I long to hold and kiss her I see her everywhere in this empty lonely house; the seventy years we were together should bring some comfort but all the happy memories mean nothing when I am alone looking at her photograph crying.
Any words of hope and comfort would be deeply appreciated.
L

Comments for Lawrence

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Aug 31, 2013
dear lawrence
by: Anonymous

i lost my husband age 59 to prostate cancer..i cried and cried for the longest time...but then one day i sat in front of jesus picture and said i cannot do this anymore...the burden is too heavy for me to bear...and asked him to take this burden away from me so i don't cry...its 18 months now and i stopped crying really bad.. i still miss him terribly especially at night...but can manage so much better just knowing i can go to the lord and tell him how i feel...i believe that he wants to help me feel better...can't tell you that i feel great..but at least i can get through my days and the chores without crying and that is a great relief for me..you will find it hard...it is a challenge..but now im on anxiety pills and i try to think about him in a more loving way...a way that won't hurt me..feel better lawrence and god bless you in your daily life...

Mar 21, 2013
with you...
by: Carlos

Lawrence... I am 1 yr. from my loss and I think that some days are tolerable and some not so much. Following a 6.5 yr struggle with cancer, she left and took my heart and will with her. I have sought comfort in church and counceling and have sporadic moments of healing but realize that it will take more time. After 45 years, it's difficult to imagine a world without this amazing woman.
I would like to think that moving forward is possible and I only hope that something will allow me to care again. I have to believe that it will and this emptiness will be filled with a new experience. Right now, I'm not so sure.

Mar 11, 2013
so sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so very sorry for your loss.. My heart hurts for you.. I know this may not help, but think of your child and Grandchild, and how much they need you now.. can you be strong for them, and live for them? Please consider finding a local church in your area and seeing if they have classes for people who have lost loved ones.. You still have a life to lead, this I will tell you. This is why you are still here. There are things you must do before you can be reunited with your wife. God bless you..

Mar 10, 2013
Dear Lawrence,
by: Pat in Missouri

I feel your pain. You entire life has been identified as the other half of a wonderful marriage. Now, you have to find Lawrence. When my mother died, my father told me that the worst thing she ever did was to die on him. They had been together for a very long time too (65 years). He did not know how to go on without her. The loneliness ate him into his own grave. He never adjusted to life without Mom. Just 18 months later, he died too. He wasn't even sick. He just gave up, quit eating, got pneumonia, and died within 4 days. I know that hearing this doesn't make it any easier for you. The point is that there was help available, but my father kept refusing it. He was holding on to his memories because that was all he had. Having seen this happen to my father, I sincerely hope it does not happen to you. I suggest you seek out a grief support group. I attended 1 myself. It helps to talk with others who are going through the same thing.

As far as your home is concerned, you might get someone to help you go through your wife's things and donate them to someone who can use them. Get some pretty bright things to make your home feel more comfortable and hopeful. Get some flowers or plants. You might think about getting a pet. I have 2 dogs. They are a big support system for me.
Losing the woman you shared life with for 70 years has put you in a place you have never known before. You have to reinvent yourself. I hope you have the support of children and/or friends. Go to your local senior community center and join in some of there activities. They may even have a grief support group. Seek companionship through your church. The worst thing you can do is to sit at home alone, missing your wife. It might help to read books about grief so you understand the process better. There are good resources right here on this site. I know you feel lost, but we cannot recreate the lives we have lost. We have to find our way forward. In time, you will begin to feel your wife's spirit with you all the time. This is very comforting, but what you are feeling now is a deeply wounded heart. Please reach out for help and move forward. Let us know how you are. We care because we are in the same spot.

Mar 09, 2013
so sorry the journey is filled with grief....
by: Anthony

I know the feeling, Lawrence, I suffer from the. Same situation, only it will be 1 year come March 19.

I can't say that time will heal - it never does - but I can suggest that you connect with her through meditation, and seek her by asking God to provide you with after life communications which could take many forms.

Prayerwaves, a website fore ADCs, have proved helpful to me. I believe my beloved Constance is beside me daily, laughing and chatting with me as we used to - yes, I break down and cry all too often, not because she transited, as I believe that where she is is far superior to here, and she would not want to come back here in the physical, but because I have been left behind.

I tell her daily that I am only waiting eagerly to transit across too and be with her forever, and, until that happens, for her to honor our agreement that she will be my my side everyday.

Talk to your transited loved one. It helps with the grief.

Mar 09, 2013
Lawrence
by: Doreen U.K.

Lawrence you are still deeply upset and troubled by the loss of your wife. You could try a CRUSE bereavement counsellor to help you work through your loss to where you will be able to cope better with the terrible emotional pain and feelings that won't go away soon. You need to do something more practical for yourself so you can move to where your grief pain will be more manageable. You are doing nothing wrong. YOu just loved deeply for a great many years and you won't get over this loss soon. We all need someone to come alongside us to help us cope with what is the worst loss you will ever experience. Even 10 weeks is too soon to begin to feel less pain. There is nothing worse that having been with the love of your life for 70yrs. and then to lose her and find yourself all alone. I wouldn't want to live in an empty house. Even though my daughter lives at home she is in her room and at work and I am left alone with no one to talk to or share any conversation with. I know a little of what you are facing. There is no easy way for us to go on in life. We can't replace the one we have lost and so we have to go on whether we feel like it or not. It sounds as if you have no other relatives that can support you? It does make a difference having relatives or friends to be around you. But saying this even for me everyone has moved on and phone less and visit me less now I have lost my husband. It throws us into a form of isolation and this intensifies our grief. Keep writing back as you are doing. But please let us know if you have friends or relatives that can support you. I hope you will try CRUSE bereavement services they will be more supportive than you can imagine. You can see your GP for more information or they will be in Yellow pages or the phone book. Give them a try.

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