Lawrence

by Lawrence
(UK)

Well today is mother’s day and for the first time in many years there won't be my daughters and grandchildren rushing into the house to present my beloved wife gifts and cards, she loved it so much and I can still see the look of absolute joy on her face as they all kissed her and wished he “HAPPY MOTHERS DAY”. That will never happen again and I grieve for my lovely family who miss their mum and NANNA so deeply.
Thank you all for your kind and helpful letters, I will certainly seek bereavement counseling and I do know life will never be the same for me. Reading all the tragic stories on this website also makes me realize I am just one grief stricken husband/ wife amongst thousands who are suffering as badly as I am.
Has anyone noticed that the motivation to do anything has gone and the slightest job is an effort, plus the terrible exhaustion?
L

Comments for Lawrence

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Mar 11, 2013
Effort
by: Anthony

Yes, it's the same for most of us - very little motivation to work and exhausted at the end of it all. I find myself sleeping more, doing less and waiting for the days to roll by .....

Mar 11, 2013
Lawrence
by: Doreen U.K.

Yes! Lawrence the lack of motivation to do anything lasts so long one never knows when we will ever feel normal again. But you know what. Who says we have to push ourselves. Grief has assaulted our body and we just have to let things change within ourselves when this happens naturally. It is not good to push ourselves to do what is difficult for us to do. Exhaustion is also part of the grief process.
I am glad you say you are going to get counselling. This will be the first big step for you. You will quickly move forward better and you will get your life back. It will never be the same again for any of us losing a loved one. But the important thing is to be able to cope with life and do the necessary things for our well being. Even if we don't want to be here in the world we have no choice but to go on. We all have loved ones left here in the world and we have to be here for them until it is our time to leave this earth. Don't think too far ahead. Just live for the moment. I know that mother's day must have been very difficult for you. It hurts a lot. I do remember shopping for the loveliest mother's day gifts 10 years ago and I wanted to buy everything I could for my mother. It broke my heart to have to return them. I did not know my mother had died. I couldn't cope with the sorrow of mother's day. Now I have lost my husband and Have to go through more sorrow one day at a time we will cope. Best wishes for your counselling. I know it will work and you will feel better soon. stick with the programme. Don't give up. I spent many years grieving my losses and I have had a good measure of healing that carries me through each day. You also will rise from the ashes of despair.

Mar 11, 2013
First Mothers Day Alone
by: Bereaved daughter

Dear Lawrence,
These first anniversaries are so lonely. I was an only daughter - unfortunately childless - so mum and I only had one another.

I too have not been motivated to do much - it is not only grief but shock. When we love we never want to face life without them by ourside.

Although my mum gave me so much love (I am disabled) she always thanked me for making her life brighter.

I am sure amongst your cherished memories you can comfort yourself that you made your wife's years so good. Your children and grandchildren are blessed to have been born into such a loving family.

I do hope you feel easier soon - and your creative talent will bring you and others comfort.

Mar 11, 2013
No motivation
by: Terri

This Mother's Day was the first I had without my daughter Nicola and I was exactly the same. My younger daughter Laura was out doing a sponsored run and I just lay on the settee in my dressing gown and thought of Nic.
I'm SO sorry for the loss of your wonderful wife and I totally understand your lack of motivation. She was pivotal to your relationship and I suppose you feel that you are in free-fall now. I seem to remember that you said you are a writer and musician. Why not try starting a journal (I did) where you speak to your wife every day, sharing even the most mundane things. Maybe you could compose a piece of music or a poem that expresses how you felt and still feel about her.
I think music and writing are great gifts and it would be a way of honouring a wonderful lady.
In the mean time hold your children and grandchildren close. They will ease your heart.

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