Leaving my Marriage...
Every time I would look at my wedding pics - I would get angry. Why did he marry me if he did not adore me? He was only minimally interested in me physically and it was a fight to get him to spend time with me. Was it me? Did I demand to much and then he just reacted for 10 years - 7 years of marriage counseling and we never got to the bottom of it. I have horrible fear of being able to be healthy in another relationship. Can I love well?
What good did we have? We have 3 lovely girls - that deserve peace. We had 10 years of some good times- times when we relaxed and enjoyed each other to the extent we where able to. Always me just accepting you lukewarm desire of me. We made excellent money decisions and had finical security. We have a handful of nice holiday memories - you really helped me when my Dad died. You taught me about money. You taught me how to research things. Both life skills I will be forever grateful for. You love you 3 kids - you strive to be good to them. I could rely on you to take care of my physical needs (food, clothing and shelter) - never let me down as a provider. I will miss vacation pictures and time where we are a whole family unit - the 5 of us together smiling at the camera next to Mickey Mouse and the girls basking it the wholeness of the family - even if I was dying inside when the picture was taken - due to lack of love. I wish of both peace and friendship in the future - I hope we can spend time - the five of us together now and again and the girls see us as unified parents - if not a couple - I wish us the healing of overcoming and learning from this - I hope for myself to see where I went wrong clearly. I hope we have new healthy relationships - for us and the kids. I hope for new friends. I do love you and care for you and wish you the best. God Speed to you My Husband and you leave the place beside me and venture to new lands as a single man again - may you find peace and healing - and my God grant me the same swift wind for my sails. For the last time - I thank God for the blessings you have been and pray for us and our relationship as it will be now - Your loving Wife - g