Left for a younger guy

by sen
(ventura, ca)

I had a 10 year relationship with a woman who I loved very dearly. Unfortunately she had emotional issues (former abusive spouse, possible childhood trauma, etc) which I overlooked because I thought I could help her overcome via therapy that she promised she would look into but never followed through with. I listened to hours of her villifying her ex. I became her hero and could do no wrong. She bought me lavish gifts, and even helped support me until my medical practice. But the crazy making rageful behavior, come here/ go away antics, and 3-4 times a day marijuana addiction added to her labile moods. She acquiesced to my every need but her inconsistent and confusing behavior started to take its toll. She engaged in self mutilatory skin picking and blamed me for her problems at work, and her bad skin, etc. She would vacilate between love and being hypersexual to cold and distant with hours. In 2009 I strayed from her (which i am not.proud of) and did not tell her about it. She would habitually check my cell phone and computer until she found a couple of texts from the woman unharmed the casual affair with. She became rageful and stormed out of the house, got drunk, went to a club and had a threesome with a friend of ours and a complete stranger. She then wanted me to move out which I refused to do (because i loved her) and for the next two years after that put up with her abusive verbal attacks. I must of been masochostic because i put up with her snode comments and crazy making. She went on a trip to Costa Rica recently and met a 22 (she is 17 years older) year old kid and is now planning to love to Costa Rica with him after only knowing himi two weeks. Although I should be relieved i feel shame, guilt, and terrible.because she keeps reminding me that i pushed her to leave. I am angry, confused, and in great pain. My friends think I am absolutely nuts for staying and putting up with this woman for so.many years. But my confusion and pain comes from her making me feel so good and was so loving towards me initially. Help please!s

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