Less than 3 weeks and he's already dating again

We were together for 3 years and then poof - "I love you but I'm not in love with you." How is this possible? There are not two more compatible people on the planet. We were going through a rough patch - caught him lying and I was having a hard time getting back to trusting him. Still in the same house - I have no where to go and he won't move out. I am moving in 6 days. But we've been civil. Maybe because I'm in denial and am wishing for him to come to his senses.

But he's started partying and not coming home. I don't even recognize him. He is absolutely nothing like the man I married. Here is the worst - he sent me a text that was meant for another woman:
"I have to go home and shower but then I would love to spend some time with you."

I was like WTF. He was all apologetic and claiming he's just being social. Right. Social is "Want to hang out later?", not "spend some time with you." I'm not an idiot.

But its KILLING me. I love him so much and I can't seem to let go that the next 50 years of our lives will never happen. I lost my everything, my best friend, my future. He has gone back to trying to be civil and whatever. But I'm dying inside. I want to talk to him and go out to the living room and watch TV with him but I'm staying here in the bedroom because I know that he is already sleeping with somebody else. I just can't even believe this is happening.
Please help - why can't I hate him? He deserves it. why is this happening?!?!?!?!?

Comments for Less than 3 weeks and he's already dating again

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Jun 12, 2012
Brokenhearted and cheating on me
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Brokenhearted and hurting Lady,
My heart goes out to you at this time when you are so broken over your cheating husband. 3 years married and now he is doing this to you. You can't hate him because you still love him and fighting for him. Unless you are able to talk things out you will prolong your agony.
The situation of his cheating on you needs to be confronted. He is being disrespectfull to you and you shouldn't tolerate this.
If he will not talk to you try and get someone e.g. a brother or relative to talk to him and see if he can meet with you to talk. If he is not willing to do this then walk away for a while and see if he comes looking for you. If he doesn't come looking for you or he is not willing to talk to you then you don't have much option.
Book an appointment to see a Marriage counsellor by yourself so you get support whilst you are in so much pain and this will enable you to see things more clearly and know if you will be able to save this marriage. If your husband is willing to see a counsellor then this will be good but even by yourself you can still move forward into making an informed decision about where to go from here. The pain of him cheating on you will make you feel as if he is killing you slowly and is very painfull.
Two wrongs don't make a right so don't you cheat on him to get him back as this won't work and you will destroy any hope of winning your husband back if this is what you want. Sounds as if your husband is immature and not wanting to take responsibility for what he is doing to you. Does he know you know what he is up to and cheating on you? Don't look too far ahead to the next 50 years. This may make your husband feel as if he is suffocating but makes you feel secure.
My son Chris and his wife Jude are married 11 months and she is not sure she wants to be married. She takes her ex boyfriend on holiday with my son her husband and sees nothing wrong with this. He says he loves her. She is his wife. She told him to get out of her house 5 times and my husband and I took him in and looked after him. He had 2 breakdowns. My husband told Chris to walk away. He wouldn't. Jude drew up a pre-nuptial to say Chris won't get any of her house. My husband Steve died 5 weeks ago. I buried him 2 weeks ago. Jude caused so much pain to us as a family whilst Steve was dying of cancer. I was angry and would not let Jude ride in the funeral limousine. Chris walked away from me on the day of the funeral and stood with his wife. Now he has gone. I lost my beloved husband of 44 years and my son. There is no easy way forward but it takes a death to fracture a family and sometimes there is no way back.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Jun 12, 2012
by: Christina

I am no guide or a teacher to you but as a woman to woman conversation... If you think you your man is cheating on you and lying to you.. And most of all i this is the man you actually love and want to see the next 50 yrs of your lyf wit.. THen i say you get out of that bedroom.. and confront him or atleast talk to him and ask him wat is actually on his mind... he must be havin sum issues... and obviously you havin issues with him sort it out.. talk and start fresh.. if situation demands it.. but if he still doesn change.. then i say giv the man his own doe of medicine do wat he is doin other than sleepin around or cheating wit him.. but get back home late hang out sum wer.. or stay at wrk.. or take some classes.. but if he wants to know where you at tel him your out partyin wit frends.. lets see if he like you doin the same thin wat he is doin,.. and i gues then he wil understan wat your goin thru.. but if still doesn care.. then i guess you hav to take a decision.. Cuz gal you got a wonderful lyf of your own and you cant ruin it for a man who jus doesn giv a shxt abt you.. I know its easy for me to say things like this but wen we have to do it.. It s better than jus sittin back and waitin for him to change.. but i thing wen you have to do then you have to it..
I wish you all the best and hope he realisez his mistake and comes back to you the way you guys you wer on the day you wer married to him..
Al the best and god bless!!

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