Letters To Jamie

by Dee Davis
(Leland NC United States)

My youngest son Jamie was born with cerebral palsy July 1971. Drs. never gave him a good outlook for his life. They said he would not live to see 15yrs. he would not be able to finish grade school, let alone graduate high school. I would have to put him in an institute cause he'd never be able to work and take care of hisself.

But I told them that my God is only beginning with him, and that he was going to be everything he wants to be. He not only graduated High School, but went on to graduate 3yrs. Bible College, associate-bachelor-and master degrees,

In July of 09' he became an ordained minister, preached 4 different churches, made a tape ministry. Worked Food Lion, Piggly Wiggly, Mcdonalds, Chic-Filet and had a clowning business. He turned 38 right after he was ordained.

In Sept. he had a bad cold with a bad cough, so went to dr. and got cough syrup with codeine in it. This was a Friday nite and he came in to say good nite and said he felt weak and funny headed. I asked if he wanted to go to hospital to get cked and he said no he felt he could sleep it off.

He gave me a hug and said I LOVE YOU' and went to bed, but next morning I couldn't wake him up. Jesus took him home during the nite. My world ended at that moment. Why did he take him when we had his whole life planned out to preach all over.

I can not still believe it is real at times. I have been a hospice nurse for years and watched people die. I was with my parents when they passed in 02 & 04. But when it's your own flesh and blood it's 100% worst. I shut myself away from everyone and cried to God WHY him. Take me and give him back, to finish the life he was entitled to, after coming thru so many seizures ,therapy, hospitals and surgerys. I had to move out my tr. and into cheaper sr. living.

I go to grief groups now and church alot. But the groups help for a little while, then at nite the pain comes back. The tears come when I'm driving or shopping when I run into someone he knew.

Time is going by too fast now. It's already 11mo. since he has been gone. And it still hurts as if it was yesterday. I am starting to do fundraisers for UCP, in Jamie's name so that no one will ever forget him. I started writing letters to him the first day he left me, and I've been writing them ever since. Later I plan to write a book on his life when I can get my mind to think right, don't know when that will be.

My prayers go out to anyone who has lost a child too. God Bless You!