Letting go of 2010 and allowing 2011 in

(Tappahannock VA)

I can be happy again

I can be happy again


I am 2011 begging you to learn from my predecessor 2010 and congratulate you on your long ride with grief.

I know that you do not want to see me come, you think that you are not worthy nor capable of happiness. 2011 just spells another year of pain for you.

You will not "Just get over it" there is no magic trail to avoid the pain we have walked/wallowed through. I do ask you to take notice of the days that are just o.k. They will one day turn to days where you can notice the beauty that grief has put blinders on.

I will not wish you a Merry anything. We are not capable of such joy yet. Just know that it is there waiting for us when we are ready. And hoping that 2011 is the year that you grow into the person that you want to be.

The above picture is when I was happy Truly Happy and I want just a bit of that to make things seem possible.

Miss You, Love you Paul My angel. Continue to look down on me and give me strength. Boo deserves happiness and perhaps I do too.

Hope-Still your wife regardless of what social security papers say...

Comments for Letting go of 2010 and allowing 2011 in

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Jan 01, 2011
by: Colleen

Hope, that is one of the most beautiful photos I have ever seen. You can see the love coming out of the photo. I hope you can get some happiness in 2011 I think we all deserve at least that.

Dec 31, 2010
My best to you in 2011
by: Jen

You have come so so far this year and you should be really proud of each and every one of your achievements, just look at some of your past posts and you will see how far you have come.
You also have helped a great deal of us with your wise words and kindness.
I wish you lots of best wishes from Northern Ireland and hope we can see each other grow in 2011.
Thanks for being a great friend,

Jen x

Dec 31, 2010
A New life? are you kidding?!!


I know the feelings that you describe. I have felt them not that very long ago. Please keep reading/writing here, you will see grief is individual and very personal.

Yet there are aspects that we all have experienced, loneliness, desperation, frustration, anger, feeling that "I can't do this anymore!"

To make matters worse, people act as though being a widow is contagious. They are uncomfortable with our grief and either avoid us or say stupid clumsy things that do NOT make us feel better.

People will not/can not imagine the horror of losing the one that they Love so very much. It scares them down to the cores of their heart. They run from that awful thought.

We all wear that expression of total despair. All the make up and fine clothes in the world cannot disguise the eyes of grief.

Experience your grief as you need to in your own time frame. You will know when it is time to try to emerge from your grief and begin again to live.

It is a new life and not one that we welcome that easily. But the old life is gone, I am so sorry to say. We need to accept this new life with the memories of those that we lost prodding us forward to again attempt happiness.

Dec 30, 2010
letting go of 2010
by: jules

Hope - that was beautiful - and your photo is gorgeous.

Maybe this year we will take two steps and two breaths at a time? Through the learning on this site, I have been able to see some beauty and joy in my life, no, it is not the same as when John was here with me, but it is a different kind of joy and beauty.

Bring on the new year, let us all keep on helping each other make it a better one.

Two steps, two breaths,

Take Care

Dec 30, 2010
Where am I?
by: Stephanie

Hi, I lost my husband seven months ago and I feel like I am so lost without him. Who am I now without my best friend and soul mate? There is not a moment that goes by when I am not thinking of him. All I can be is angry right now that I was cheated out of a happy life. I shouldn't be a widow with two small children at the age of 38. Even most of the people around me treat me as if I now have the cooties or something. All I can do is hope that someday I can be me again and not the poor widow. Sorry for being so negative, this is how I feel.

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