This is my third Thanksgiving without my beautiful daughter, Alicia. I decided to do something very different this year. I chose not to go with my fiance to his family's for the holiday. I also decided that I wouldn't cook for my family either. I started thinking about it a few weeks ago and asked myself 'What would truly make me feel the best, if anything?" I realized not 'Stressing' myself out over 'one' day. I was concerned that I might get anxiety and regret not going with my fiance, or cooking dinner for the kids. Well- the day has arrived and I know I made the right choice. My very best friend invited me to dinner. She is like my sister and we consider ourselves family. My oldest daughter and my oldest granddaughter decided to join us. My daughter had expressed to me a few weeks ago that she didn't like Thankgiving because everyone had to many 'Expectations' and the fact her sister was not here to be with us. We are grateful to have such loving people in our lives and ones that Don't have expectations from us. Accept us, for us. Sometimes you have to 'DO' what is best for you. I am of course missing my baby girl and as we all know there is no getting around that. I have spent the past two years grieving and not so much living. I don't regret that, but I am starting to see that I need to move forward. Moving on isn't forgetting my daughter, it is for me the right thing to do. I will Never leave her behind. She is Forever in my heart. I have a very caring and loving man in my life and I need to share my life with him now ,and those nearest and dearest to me. I know my daughter would want me to be happy. My shutting down and pulling away from those who care isn't going to bring her back. I know there will always be days that are hard, but I am starting believe they don't have to be my whole life.
God Bless All of You