Lied to and decieved for years

by Fred
(United Kingdom)

After 12 years together. We had gone through me
Having a accident whilst working which left me with a permanant disability.
Then to be struck down by Cancer. Then open heart surgery.
There where problems but i thought she had stuck by me.
She started talking down to me telling my i was negative.
I had doubts when I uncover she had did something behind my back.
Later I had a call from my credit card company about a missed minimum payment.
I knew nothing. I knew she had the card but said she didn't use it.
Anyway cut it short i eventually found out she had maxed it nearly £5000.00.
I was destroyed. Then I uncover texts from another man,
Again I was destroyed. I did a little detective work and found she had more debts solely
In my name for her house another £1000.00.
She led me a merry dance for months never giving me an answer about our
Relationship. It has been a year we have been apart she has dated several men.
Lied about things again never telling what she has done.
I have uncovered lies going back 13 years she lied from the start of our relationship.
I had no answers no closure, I still find it tough a year on.

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Oct 24, 2014
Lied to and deceived for years
by: Doreen UK

Fred If you can conquer disability, Cancer, and Open Heart Surgery, You can conquer a bad relationship of betrayal, Lies, and Deceit.
It is just harder to cope with the emotional ones.
You say on both occassions of THEFT from you by misuse of your credit card, that you were destroyed. A better word would be DEVASTATED. Devastation you can recover from but DESTRUCTION not so easy.
This experience may have left you feeling destroyed, but in reality it hasn't destroyed you.
You should have gone to the police and alerted them to the fact that she had misused your credit card, and contacted the credit card company and put a stop on your card because of this MISUSE. This way you would be sending a message out to her that she has not WON. She is liable for these debts NOT YOU. take action against her to be responsible for these debts. You could save some other poor man the same treatment. She may be one of the "Black Widows" who use a man for her own financial Pleasure.
Turn this experience around and see this as a lucky escape. Get advice and see if you can take proceedings against her to RECOVER the money she took. It is theft and should be seen as such if she did this without your knowledge and permission.
Contact the "RIP OFF BRITAIN" crew on BBC 1 morning show 9.15a.m. They may point you in the right direction or at least confront your experience to save other people. They may thank you for it. I see this all the time on our U.K. T.V. This problem is getting worse and a great lack of Integrity in our Community and Society.
What is not confronted will never change. And when we fail to stand up for these issues we somehow become party to such behviour. Be outraged enough to do something about this and bring you healing. You will then be able to get past this experience and be wiser next time by not being taken in by a "Black Widow".
My husband died 2yrs. ago of cancer and I trusted a partner of my cousin to landscape our garden. He stole the only 2 ladders my husband had for over 20yrs. and all his tools and sentimental items that would have been passed down to my son and son-in-law. I still feel angry. I have confronted the situation. I have learnt not to be so trusting, and to get contracts for everything and staged payments. I won't be taken in again. It can happen to any of us. Don't sink into depression thinking this man destroyed you. HE DIDN'T. You live to tell the tale and you will recover. God overlooks everything, and these evil people will get their adversity in full measure and overflowing. I didn't say this. God does. And this is a PROMISE. as the good book says. "Don't marvel at the prosperity of the wicked, for they shall soon be cut down." and you will see them no more. Let this be your strength and recovery.

Oct 23, 2014
Please Move On
by: Judith in California

Fred, it's terrible what one human will do to another and in their weakest and sickest times. just like there are deceiving men there are deceiving women. Most of us kind, trusting souls will encounter one of them in our lives. It's the lesson we learn.
You say you had no closure. Well, in reality you did. The closure comes from recognizing what she was and how she treated you over and over. She didn't love you enough to stick around and honor her vows through sickness and in health. She just didn't love you.

Please don't give her another valuable minute of your thoughts and time. She is not worth it. I hope you will meet a loving woman who will treat you with warmth and understanding.
Please move on for your health both emotionally and physically.

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