Life will never be the same...

by Juanita

Over 2 years - 4 deaths, mom diagnosed with kidney disease, a failed relationship, loss of job, loss of drivers license

In August 2008 my Grandfather died, which left my dad heartbroken. In September 2008 my step-dad passed away, who I loved dearly and was a blessing for my mother. In November 2008 my mother was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease. She is on a waiting list for a new kidney and I am not a blood match. My three siblings are, but have decided not to donate. I tried to donate through the exchange program and went through a workup, but was not accepted into the program.

In June of 2009 my office relocated – which added 1.5 hours to my day commuting. In September 2009 my boyfriend/live-in partner of 6 years was a firefighter and told me he had post-traumatic stress disorder, by October 28, 2009 he left the house and blamed my kids (I have 3). The lack of closure here has created enormous grief and obsession.

In January 2010 my Grandmother passed away, we were very close and I miss her dearly. In March of 2010 my mom went on home dialysis and lives across the country but I talk to her everyday. On September 7 of 2010 my father passed away suddenly at the age of 66 of a heart attack, this is so hard to believe as we spent a week vacationing just a few days before, what a blessing that was. On October 13, 2010 I lost my license due to a Medical condition for 7 months.

The losses have been unbearable and I have been on a leave from work as I cant stop crying uncontrollably at times. Life was relatively happy before August 2008, and I long for those days before I experienced so many losses. I have turned back to God and my faith in this time and pray that one day life will not be numb and I will be truly happy. I feel as though life has changed and will never be the same, but that now I have to learn to live in this new life. It is an uphill climb, I don’t understand the why, but perhaps one day it will all be revealed

Comments for Life will never be the same...

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Apr 17, 2011
by: Anonymous

My friend, I understand your pain with all my heart. I buried my parents, and two brothers, have
struggled through 4 divorces amongst my children,
my husband had to take leave from work and move in with his sick parents to care for them. I suffer with severe arthritis and can't leave the house without assistance. Here I sit alone. But
I know God is always beside me. What I wanted to
leave with you is this. Nothing stays the same.
Life is forever changing, for good at times, bad sometimes. It shapes our lives. Somewhere the bad
will let up and you'll be a stronger person for
it. We have strength we don't know we have until
it's needed. God bless you.

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