Life without him?

Our story started 9-28-1974, the day we were married. Wayne had told me one day that he had a heart murmur, I wasn't sure what it was but our love was strong. When our two children were born I decided to be a stay at home mom. It was wonderful, money was hard but we believed it was well worth it. In 1985 he was diagnoised with sarcoidosis, he was out of work for two months, but his boss paid him anyway. One afternoon in 1988 I get a phone call from someone at his work saying, that Wayne had broke his foot and someone was bringing him home. Come to find out no broken bones, not even a scratch on his foot, one small scratch on his workboots. We want got every complication known to mankind and I think he made up some of his on. IV antibiotics for a month in the hospital, 107 treatments of hypobarics, dozens of ointments for his leg, by now it was permantly swollen twice as big up to his knee. We go to a doctor in New Orleans, they asked if we wanted the good news or the bad news, the good news he was going to have a amputation above the knee, the bad news it could go up his leg, and have to have more surgery. June 1991 he had a ABA, he stayed in hospital for a week, we go home for one day, we go back to er he has a blood clot in his lung. then 1999 we go to the heart doctor, he checked Wayne over, he took his crutches put them across the room and told Wayne they were gone. Then he told Wayne that he was going to admit him, Wayne said no, my daughter graduates from high school tomorrow, the doctor said you might not be here tomorrow. The next day he had a heart cath, two days later he had open heart surgery. With Wayne's disabilaties, it took him a year to feel better, now in wheelchair 100% of the time. June of 2009 Wayne woke up with a backache, off to er again, now cancer, the worse of the worse cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct) he lived a few months more. This is the worse thing that can happen, I work but I have been in clinical depression ever since. We had no insurance there was a mix up at my job. Now I'm almost ready to lose my house, no refrigerator, no washing machine, no air, and no heat. I have seeked help from all over the place, NO ONE CARES. I do get my medications which is a 300 a month deductible, I am on 14 prescriptions. I found out there is no life after your husband goes to see Jesus, I'm ready to go with him. I go to therapy weekly, and to group weekly also. I hate this NEW NORMAL, there is nothing normal about it.

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