Lifted up by angels

by Rina

Mediterranean holiday mum and dad

Mediterranean holiday mum and dad

Mum and dad were like young lovers at 66 years of age. They had just returned from 7 weeks on Mediterranean cruises. Mum was struggling to recover from the jet lag and her legs were going wonky every so often. Mum was so energetic, larger than life, so young…..This was the beginning of our crazy journey. It all happened so fast. Mum went to doctors and collapsed in the waiting room so scans were taken which showed she had a brain tumour in the worst part of the brain possible. She was admitted to hospital that day and had surgery a few days later. We never expected that she wouldn’t wake. She had 4 operations along with all the side effects of surgery in general and of brain surgery. Her brain bled and swelled so much that she was unable to wake for 4 weeks. In the last week I slept on the hospital floor and shoved her over to share her hospital bed, the crying didn’t stop. I wished she would wake or give me a sign that all was going to be ok. One day she opened her eyes, but she was not there, it was an empty glaze. I did however speak to her and tell her we would look after Dad and she did not need to suffer. My Dad and sister had difficulty seeing her in this state so I was the one that stayed by her side and communicated to all the family as all our relatives live interstate. I wish I could have said a proper goodbye. My mum was everything to me and my children. Children, family and friends were her world. She always had a crazy social calendar. Mum died on December 2nd 2011. My world is non existent. How do I help my dad and children through the extreme grief when I can’t even get myself through? Mum was Dad’s “soul and inspiration” he says. I wish mum woke for a moment so I could say goodbye and know for sure she heard me. Maybe she did but who will ever know. None of my friends understands this loss. I have lost others before but this is torture. Mum was the glue that kept us together. I am now in remote control unable to move forward through this dark fog.

Comments for Lifted up by angels

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Jan 03, 2012
It's going to be ok...
by: Tammy Duarte

My last words to my dad seconds before his fatal heart attack..."You going to be ok". While I watched nurse and doctors trying their best to bring him back to life. I rubbed his leg and repeated in my mind. "You are ok". My father was a passionate man full of life. Like your mother. He played the guitar everyday for his last five years of his life. He received a heart transplant in 2005 and he just passed away on January 1, 2012. I am still in shock that he would never return. That I will never hear his voice. When I told him...he would be ok in his last moment he also had a glazed look in his eyes. That moment brings me alot of comfort since it reminds me. That he will be ok even if his time on earth come to an end...he's ok. We will be (My family and I) ok. And you and your family will be ok. I hope this helps...

Jan 02, 2012
Angels are With Us
by: TrishJ

Nobody understands the devastating loss until it happens to them. Your mom was your friend and mother. That's the relationship I have with my daughter.
Your mom heard you tell her you love her. She knows. I lost my husband 13 months ago and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday. Sometime I feel like I've made very little progress. Other days it seems like he's been gone for 5 years.

Our loved ones are with us.....always. Try to look for the subtle little signs that your mom will send you. She'll always be there. Talk to her and ask her to help you through your grief. She wants you to be happy. You have to take care of yourself and try to be strong. It isn't easy. It's very draining and difficult work.
God bless.

Jan 02, 2012
Lifted up by angels
by: Pat J.

Rina, I m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 35 years ago, June 25th. I lost my husband of 46 years on June 27th of 2011 and our 46th wedding anniversary was June 26th. I was 29, my mom was 50 years old, when she died, I was devastated, my baby was only 3 months old. I had the support of my husband and I had 5 little children, so I was busy. It is now 35 years later, my dad died 5 years ago and now I am dealing with the greatest ache in my heart. I feel a part of me died with my husband, I remember feeling a little like that when my mom died. We do somehow get the strength from God to go on. Cherish the memories of your mom; talk about her, shed tears, they are all part of the healing. I think our bodies go into a survivor mode; it helps us get through each day. Be there for your dad, he needs your support, my children are here for me. I talk and cry with them about there dad; we even have a few laughs sharing memories. She is gone from your sight, but she is a part of you always; she lives within your heart and her spirit is always with you. You have your own personal angel watching over you and you will one day see her again. God bless you and take it one day at a time.

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