Lifted up by angels
Mediterranean holiday mum and dad
Mum and dad were like young lovers at 66 years of age. They had just returned from 7 weeks on Mediterranean cruises. Mum was struggling to recover from the jet lag and her legs were going wonky every so often. Mum was so energetic, larger than life, so young…..This was the beginning of our crazy journey. It all happened so fast. Mum went to doctors and collapsed in the waiting room so scans were taken which showed she had a brain tumour in the worst part of the brain possible. She was admitted to hospital that day and had surgery a few days later. We never expected that she wouldn’t wake. She had 4 operations along with all the side effects of surgery in general and of brain surgery. Her brain bled and swelled so much that she was unable to wake for 4 weeks. In the last week I slept on the hospital floor and shoved her over to share her hospital bed, the crying didn’t stop. I wished she would wake or give me a sign that all was going to be ok. One day she opened her eyes, but she was not there, it was an empty glaze. I did however speak to her and tell her we would look after Dad and she did not need to suffer. My Dad and sister had difficulty seeing her in this state so I was the one that stayed by her side and communicated to all the family as all our relatives live interstate. I wish I could have said a proper goodbye. My mum was everything to me and my children. Children, family and friends were her world. She always had a crazy social calendar. Mum died on December 2nd 2011. My world is non existent. How do I help my dad and children through the extreme grief when I can’t even get myself through? Mum was Dad’s “soul and inspiration” he says. I wish mum woke for a moment so I could say goodbye and know for sure she heard me. Maybe she did but who will ever know. None of my friends understands this loss. I have lost others before but this is torture. Mum was the glue that kept us together. I am now in remote control unable to move forward through this dark fog.