like a mother to me

I've known my boyfriends mother for 11 years. She was my mother away from my real mother, who lives 6 hours away. She had been dealing with pain for years and just recently received a diagnosis of thoracic outlet syndrome. Early the next morning, on xmas eve, she died suddenly of a heart attack. We were all stunned because she was just given a clean bill of health by her cardiologist earlier this week. I feel bad because I am at my parents house for xmas and can't be there for my boyfriend and his family. Im still in shock. It all feels like a dream and Im going to wake up and everything will be fine. And every once in a while reality hits me and I panic and my chest feels like its being crushed. Im going home to stay with my boyfriends dad for a while and when I get there its really going to sink in.

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Aug 21, 2012
how long ago?
by: DMS

I am trying to find my own way through this strange and painful path. and stumbled on to your description of your loss and situation. I live in a different country to my family and here I met a lovely family that I began to call my own. a couple in there 60s with teen kids. I just fit in and they took me in and helped me to learn and be happy so far from home. but all that changed 3 years ago when the mother/wife passed away. Im still stuck. I dont know why I am writing this I just want it to stop. no not stop get better, everyone has moved on and Im still here me Iv not changed, apart from being lost and alone! I would hate to think I am upsetting your or coursing you to re open your feeling when your in a good space, Im trying to reach out, for something that will help!

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