Like a sister to me
I lost my best friend of 37 years to cancer on Father's Day this year. She was like the sister I never had. It has been extremely hard on me. Instead of moving forward I don't feel as if I've been able to move on. My dear husband has been so loving and patient. She was like a sister to me and was so generous and funny; we could always be ourselves around each other. We were always there for each other as well and it never made a difference whether the occasion was sad or happy, it was just special to share time together. I did not see her the last three weeks of her life as I was tying up loose ends at work in preparation for retirement; her doctors told her she would most likely live until Thanksgiving. She entered hospice three days before Father's day and I was able to be with her those days and was with her and her daughter when she died. She was non communicative those three days, having been given pain and anti anxiety medication,but I know she knew I was there. I went through a period of guilt that I did not see her those last three weeks when she was still at home and lucid; but I came to realize that I would have had no way of knowing that her dying would come sooner than even the doctors expected. She would never have faulted me for that. She would want me to move on and would not have wanted me to dwell on her loss, but it has been so difficult. I plan to see a doctor soon and try some counseling as I do think I need help to move on past - remembering the friendship we had and finally letting her go. Love you Bev and still wish you were here with us. I will see you again someday I sincerely hope.