Linda Lu

by Linda Tate
(Boring, OR)

In the past 2 years, I've lost 4 family members.
06-16-10 = Lost my Mom from congestive heart failure,she was 89 years old.
09-27-10 = Lost my brother-in-law to throat cancer, he was 54 years old.
09-28-11 = Lost my father-in-law from dementia, he passed away in my home, he was 89 years old
05-18-12 = Lost my husband of 41 years to ALS after 3.5 years of battling the horrible disease in my home. He was 58 years old and I miss him so much.

I'm done, I'm done, stick a fork in me, I'm done! It's just way too much.

Comments for Linda Lu

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Jun 28, 2012
Linda Lu
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Linda
My deepest sympathies to you for the loss of 4 fammily members within the last 2 years. Life is so cruel to some people with a huge loss of family members. The family members who lived to their 80's must have made you feel that at that time of life I expect people to die. But it still hurts and is difficult to let go of the one's we love. The 2 in their 50's will make you especially vulnerable to despair as this is quite a young age to lose a loved one. Your husband was young and this must make you especially sad and unhappy, Death is so final and it is hard to get our head around this. The fear and anxiety that our loved ones have gone and will never come back to us is especially hard to bear. We don't know how wer'e going to survive. Every day is a struggle. Losing the familiar routine. losing a part of ourselves. losing the battle of going on together ends so abruptly. We are never the same again. Life is so unbearable and uncomfortable each new day as we struggle to go on in life by ourselves. All sense of happiness gone in an instant. Your husband was ill for 3yrs.6months. My husband struggled with cancer for 3yrs.39days. I have flashbacks to 7 weeks ago when Steve died and the pain is worse today. I am told it gets worse before it gets better. It is a place we don't want to be. We can't switch off how we feel. It just runs riot within us. Sucking the life out of us till we can bear it no more. Then we live to fight another day whether we like it or not. Whether we want it or not. How do we survive without our spouse. It is like being in the eye of a storm. We can't get out of the eye. It sucks us in and swishes us around. That is how I feel and everyone on this grief website stuggling to go on after a loss. No one can take the pain away either. We have to suffer it till the pain decides to go. We don't get to decide when enough is enough. We just have to stay here and suffer and suffer and suffer. Death is cruel. Don't give up. Don't suffer all alone.
See a counsellor if life gets unbearable. The support will help support some of the pain. We can then work through the loss, and what it has done to us. I hope the days ahead for you will not be harsh or demanding and that you will be able to feel Peace again. Best wishes.

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