by Linda

oMy marriage was very up and down it was either a whirlwind of romance and love or he was very abusive and controlling still is. We had to sell house because of his drinking getting sacked from his work many times when we were totally broke and I had to have 3 jobs to just keep going doing heavy manual work and starting at 5am freezing cold sometimes until 11pm it was awful. I tried my best he was dressed in the latest gear suits etc every day, would go on 4day drink binges then haul me out of bed either battering me or forcing me to have sex. I could write a book about the things some real bad that he did in all our time together and the verbal and emotional abuse we had to endure. My relationship with my two kids is damaged I love my kids unconditionally but, I have been the sounding board for their troubles they both speak down to me especially my daughter, she has real issues my son's ex wife is causing mega problems he has not seen his two girls age 4 and 6 since before xmas all their presents are in my house its heartbreaking . I have and still am letting my husband come over even although he has another woman who had plenty money that she lavishes on him taking him out travelling to shows, weekends away the list goes on and I get abuse from the two of them why oh why can I not get him out of my head I feel like I am going mad.I still love him with all my heart and it torments me thinking of him sleeping with her I have only known my husband since I was 19yrs that's 36yrs ago I pray that someone will help me to move on, or at least learn to live with this pain everyday I am so alone I often wish I had succeeded in my suicide but, when I see my baby granddaughters I feel so bad having these thoughts .I hope someone replies with some ideas for me to try thank you x.

Comments for LINDA ORMOND

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 11, 2013
by: Anonymous

I know you may not want to here this but prayer will help if you ask for it in his will

Apr 11, 2013
by: Doreen U.K.

Linda Oh! Linda have you such little self esteem that you could put up with this. In your shoes I would have done the same thing. Because when you love someone deeply you put up with a lot. I was born in Scotland so being a Scot I can understand the drinking culture. I have childhood memories of this. BUT. There comes a point when enough is enough. You could do with some good counselling. I did this in my 40's. This was the best experience of my life. I could never go back to the same place again. You have clearly lost control of your family. If the kids are seeing their father disrespect you and you take it they will do the same. WHY? Because they can get away with it. DON'T demean yourself by taking your husband back into your home especially if he is sleeping around. He is clearly showing disrespect for you. You are an ENABLER. Because you are letting it happen. DON'T. Let it stop now. Counselling will give you back your Control and allow you to be ASSERTIVE. (without being aggressive.) YOU CAN DO IT. You can get back your self esteem, CONTROL. and self respect. You just have to FOCUS on what you want out of your life. If it is to be unhappy, disrespected, and to put up with an unruly daughter, daughter-in-law and disrespectful cheating husband then stay where you are. If you feel suicidal with this lot then something is not working. Only you can change this. Start with counselling to give you the support and courage to CHANGE. Your family will change also. They will see what you are prepared to put up with. It is never too late to change. I DID!. It feels great! I started in my 40's with counselling. It worked for me. I am making changes all the time. I know what I will put up with and what I want to change. Doing this I COMMAND RESPECT. I don't demand respect. I get respect. And I respect others. If you need more encouragement you can email me at You can change your world for the better. You have worked hard all your life for your family. Let them get on with it and change your world for the better so you can feel and be happy again. Shut the door on your old life. Embrace those you want in your life and get rid of the rest. Your husband may want you back if he sees the changes. DON'T. There is a human limit to what a person can take. I was married for 44yrs. Lost my husband to cancer 11 months ago. I know what it feels like to love someone so deeply. It hurts to love as you do and don't get it back. CHANGE YOUR LIFE! YOU CAN! I DID IT.! Best wishes.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Other Loss.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!