by linda
(Montana, USA)

17 days ago my 88 year old mother passed away. She was a woman of great faith and strength. The family gathered to be with her the last two days. My sister, our spouses, children and grandchildren stayed at her side. We all have faith and recognize that she has gone to heaven and is in no more pain. We all saw single, dble and even triple rainbows in the sky as we left the care facility following her death. The pastor at her funeral said "it is good that we are here" We were all there to celebrate her passing. Her 3 grandsons were pall bearers. 2 days following her funeral, her oldest grandson, age 40 was killed in a car accident while leaving work. The world has just dropped away. He was my nephew, and my heart breaks not only for losing him, but for my sister who lost her mother and her son in a span of 8 days. His funeral was 2 days ago, and over 200 people attended. It brought some closure. But a couple times a day, I just break down. I am grateful that my mother went first. I miss her but I would not want her to go through this pain of losing her oldest grandson. My sister and I both have strong faiths, and there is definitely one set of footsteps in the sand right now. For God is carrying us. I force myself to do simple normal things, dishes, write thank you's, pay bills, walk. But anything of normal stress, such as work, volunteer commitments, totally is overwhelming me right now. I thought I was handling my Mom's death well, but my nephews tragic death has just rocked my world.

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Sep 24, 2013
by: Doreen UK

Linda I am sorry for your loss of your mother and nephew. You have two deaths to grieve from and you need to deal with each one individually as they can overlap and cause confusion.
I lost my husband to cancer 16 months ago and I just did the funeral, tied up all the admin for 2 months and then I took to the couch for 6 months and nurtured myself with TV. and watching the God Channel TV which all helped to start the healing process. Grief affects our energy levels and days I could do nothing. Grief assaulted my body on top of arthritis and this was an enormous burden dealing with physical and emotional pain from loss. So I can understand how you feel. When you feel like this don't force yourself to work at anything that is not possible. Rest and do what you can each day as each day is different. Nurturing yourself back into life should be done slowly and at your own pace.
I then took one or two jobs a day and on days I couldn't do this I went back to the couch. Also take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't plan too far ahead. This will release you to decide what and when you can tackle work again. Because you have a strong Faith does help. Watching God TV gave me the encouragement and strength to get through each day. You will soon be able to get back into life and recover from grief.

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