LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH.. THAT IS WHAT MY MOM WOULD WANT... BUT IT IS HARD.

by madelaine Tamayo
(Miami Beach, Fl. USA)

I lost my mom last Thanksgiving 2012.. she had lymphoma, many Chemo treatments, with killing side effects. She was 81 ..She had a young heart, mind, spirit..words cannot describe how she was my best, very best friend.!! I was there with her. all of the 7 months thru chemo.. I am a nurse and sometimes I regret to have been so medical instead of just a daughter.. I know she knows I meant to keep her alive.. is hard for me to accept we lost our fight .. we went to many memorable trips together, we celebrated, and laughed with our mutual friends. She was very special to all. She knew how to live life to the fullest, always smiling..
One of our friends send me this poem, I do not know the author, perhaps many have seen it before. but it has helped me a little:

lIVE ,lOVE ,lAUGH

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all she's left

Your heart can be empty cause you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind.
be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what shed want:
Smile, open your eyes, live, love and go on.

Comments for LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH.. THAT IS WHAT MY MOM WOULD WANT... BUT IT IS HARD.

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Mar 13, 2013
thank you bibi
by: madelaine

Thank you my sister, she loved you so much.she will be in our hearts and watching over us like our angel....xx

Mar 13, 2013
Our Gladys
by: Bibi

Maddie,
Gladys lived a happy life and she gave so much of herself to others. I loved her and considered her my Mom, too. You are a wonderful daughter and should have no guilt or regrets. You were there for Gladys every step of the way. She knew that until the very end. Mi hermanita I love you and will be here for you whenever you need support.
Love,
Bibi

Mar 13, 2013
to: Nicole from New York
by: MADELAINE

Wow! thank you for sharing.so sorry for your loss too. my mom had Hodgekins Lymphoma, she was intubated in ICU. I think she heard me when I said she could go in peace, I said goodbye, then, I wrote DNR.. your Mom was a wonderful person from what you describe, yes, is a roller coaster, but they do want to see us go on and be happy. You sound like you know all this. Keep going on your career. You will help many patients, this will make her happy, Nicole..I know you will become a great Nurse.. and yes,they will always be missed and be in our hearts for the rest of our lives.

Mar 13, 2013
We miss her too
by: Maricela

Puchi what you wrote is beautiful,you were truly blessed to have her in your life.
Hold on to those special moments,and know she's happy and pain free she's dancing una rumba with God,you made the right choices at the right time,have no regrets because you were there for her till the end,and she knew when it was time to let go.
I love you and admire you,besotes

Mar 13, 2013
Thank you for sharing your story...
by: Nicole from NY

Dear Madelaine,

Your post touched me. I woke up far too early this morning in search of something to assure me my grief is actually that and I'm not "going crazy." Then I stumbled upon this wonderful site.

My mom passed away on December 28, 2011 from stage four Non Hodgkins Lymphoma in the very hospital I work in. From diagnosis to her passing was a mere 7 weeks. My mother, Maureen, too was my best friend and rock. She was 71 years old when she passed. There is not a single day I wake up and not think of her and the piece of my heart that left this earth with her. I was fortunate to have been with her during that incredibly difficult time and tell her I loved her. For that I am thankful.

But it haunts me. I'm a student Nurse and thought somehow that would surely make it easier to cope with but found that to be untrue. We're all human. We all have emotions. The bond between a mother and daughter is precious. Working through the grief is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can tell you I've certainly come a long way from the moment I watched her take her last breath but grief comes and goes. There's good days, bad days, and really bad days but this roller coaster ride is normal.

We'll always miss our moms. My mom also was so positive, always smiling, the kindest most giving person I've ever known. No one can fill that hole. If we can somehow focus on what they have given us instead of what we've lost, then we can somehow find happiness again and fulfill their hopes and dreams for us. Much like your poem says.

My mom as, I'm sure your mother was too, was extremely courageous during her battle. I remember her words of "I love you and just want you to be happy" and "You'll be okay Nicky" as if it were yesterday. I draw strength from that gift. I certainly don't have the answers or magical secret to make all your pain go away. Just know you're not alone and you will most definitely make it through the grief regardless of how long it takes. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman and clearly she has raised a wonderful daughter. May you find peace and comfort. Thanks again for sharing your personal story. It literally changed my day for the better.

Nicole

Mar 12, 2013
We miss her too
by: Maricela

Puchi what you wrote is beautiful,you were truly blessed to have her in your life.
Hold on to those special moments,and know she's happy and pain free she's dancing una rumba with God,you made the right choices at the right time,have no regrets because you were there for her till the end,and she knew when it was time to let go.
I love you and admire you,besotes

Mar 12, 2013
It is never easy........
by: Regla

Madelaine, that was so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. And it is true, that, is what Gladys wants for you, and for all of us. She certainly knew how to live life, and I think that she passed that on to you. Allow yourself time to heal and in time honor your mother by celebrating who she was and who you are because of her. You, my friend, were an amazing daughter, friend, caregiver and soul mate to her, as she was to you. What a wonderful blessing for you, and for all of us who were able to be a part of the both of you. Gladys was, and is, a gift from God.

Mar 11, 2013
THANK YOU DOREEN,
by: MADELAINE

THANK YOU SOOTHING WORDS, VERY KIND, YES PEACE TO ALL OF US.

Mar 10, 2013
Live, Love, Laugh... That is What My Mom would want... But it is hard.
by: Doreen U.K.

Madeleine I am sorry for your loss of your Mom at a time you were not expecting this. Your mom lived well and to a good age and so you will have longer memories of her life with you. WE are never ready or prepared to lose our parents. They nurture us and make us the people we are today and this is a great loss to your life. What a lovely poem of comfort and strength that gives meaning to life when we have lost someone we wished could have stayed on earth.
May your find comfort and strength in the days ahead and find your way through this tough grief journey.

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