Liver Cancer .

It all started , around Christmas 2012 , my grandpa hadent been acting like him , quiet , skipping meals , and just sick . things started to get worse throughout the months . but he was to stubborn to go to the doctors , wouldn't go . until it all came down to him waking my grandma up at 5 am because he couldn't breath and needed to be taken to the hospital . they drove there , and he wa admitted right away . they suspected something was wrong with his liver , the doubted it was cancer at first , then things got worse ... ran more tests , live cancer was positive . treatment was not available , nothing could be done but medication . that could maybe give him 5 more months ... all for $1,000 a month . he refused it being as stubborn as he was. The hospital told my grandma that cancer is not bad enough to keep a patient in the hospital . and they moved him to hospice . by that time very weak . and ill . I went to visit him in hospice ( me being 12 then ) and walking in his room , he was asleep so I sat there and waited till he had awoken , he looked at me strangely , then looked at my dad and everyone else and smiled to all of them , except me . I thought he had forgotten me . and I started to cry .. hoping no one would notice . he looked over at me , and blankly stared at me , and told me one of our old dinner time table jokes . I smiled . knowing he remembered who I was . he was taken out of hospice and brought back home on Monday April 7th . and we all were there when he came through the door on the hospital bed from hospice . they had told us we only had 3 more weeks with him . we were all happy to have morning since my sister and I had been in school . we had been planning on going and visiting him on Wednesday to hang out with him for a while , but we had to change plans due to school events , we were going to go on Thursday instead . But instead of Thursday ... my uncle (his brother) called my moms cell and asked for my dad ... without knowing what was going on my dad threw all of us into the car . it hit me right as we were pulling into the driveway .. my papa had taken his last breath . I ran into the room he was staying in crying . I ran to his bedside and held his hand . he was already cold ... I started crying telling Jim how much I loved him , and how sorry I was I wasn't a good granddaughter . then I fell to my knees and just sobbed . my uncle walked in a grabbed me . explained to me it all happens for a reason , now he wasn't suffering . hospice was coming out to take his body , I couldn't bare watch them put him in a bag and just throw him around . I had to leave . I said my final goodbyes . and when we got home it was 12 am . he died at 7:09 and was pronounced at 9:17. . 4-10-13 . there's not a day I don't miss him , don't cry , don't think of how great of a grandpa he was . he was truely amazing . perfect . everything ANYONE could ask for . and I love him still deeply .

Comments for Liver Cancer .

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Jun 26, 2013
Liver Cancer
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your grandpa. I feel sad for you and all those young people your age of 12yrs. having to go through the experience in your young life of seeing a loved one die. It is all the stages at the beginning of visiting the hospital and the hospice and slowly watching your loved one die slowly. I had this experience also. Only it was my beloved husband I had to watch go through this journey of cancer and chemotherapy, and radiotherapy, and then sent home to die a slow death.
I tried to get into the mind of my husband and feel what emotions he was feeling, all the sadness and sorrow he carried and I could do nothing to help him. I guess it must be like this for you and all those other people who will have to take this journey also. Sadly we don't get enough time to love the ones we have in our family, before we know it they have passed away and then our world is turned upside down for many years.
Don't beat yourself up for being a bad granddaughter. You are being normal when you are not behaving perfect. PERFECT is boring and somehow unnatural. It is all the difficulties in life of loving and forgiving and forging a bond with our loved ones that makes us human and gives us our personality. We are all unique in our own way and you have to love the parts of your personality that are unlovable. I have God in my life so I give him all of it and let him develop me in the person He wants me to be and I want to be in life. I hope that you cope well with your grief and realise in time that Life will take people from your life and you can become a whole person despite this. It is the saddest part of living, when we lose people that make life worth living and add to our happiness.
You are young. Try to go through life and be Happy
You will find that life is what you make it and you can be happy again after death. It just takes time, and a lot of hard work grieving. I wish you every success in life.

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