Living for love

by Jack Hammer

Met her on my first interview dine in at her cousins restaurant. Fell in deep love. 2 years went by as friends, 7 years after as partners, and now 6months apart. The excuses are hurtful and unforgettable. I now return to my only sanctuary where I began, alone and continuing my life. It's not easy, one day is different to the next. Yesterday is never today and tomorrow is never yesterday and today will never be easy. I lie in bed allot while my workload pile up as I struggle to get myself the strength and courage to do them. I have tried to move on and fight the suffering but it is just there like a pink elephant in the middle of the room looking at me asking me to acknowledge it, so I do. I am better then I was before but my mind seems to never feel normal as it once felt. She has been etched deep within the depths of my electrical currents running inside my heart beat. I meditate, prayer and chant mantras... It all seems to help but with such an unstable mind and hopeful thoughts of the reigniting of our union that may be hopelessly hopeful of me. I feel surreal and lost.

Comments for Living for love

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Sep 07, 2014
Living for Love
by: Anonymous

Dear Jack,

I am so sorry for your loss. Nine years together, first as friends, and then as partners, is a long time to commit to someone, who also commits to you and then suddenly be on your own again. We invest so much of ourselves and our dreams and hopes into those we love deeply. How can it be understood why she ultimately rejected your love and your mutual commitment.
All I can figure out in my own grief is that we are all broken in our own ways due to painful past relationship experiences.
Some people seem to see problems as opportunities and others see them as insurmountable. The paradox is that those who leave a relationship only have their problems follow them from relationship to relationship, causing destruction along the way, until they learn that the problems are within themselves.
You sound like the special kind of person who can love deeply, and what a gift that is. Too precious a gift to hide away for too long.

Sep 06, 2014
live for you
by: Anonymous

Jack, it sounds like you may have moved too fast for her and she felt the need to back away. Try not to let your work and life suffer over her. If she hasn't been upfront as to why she has backed off then she should so you'll know exactly what you need to work on in any future relationship.

It always hurts when we give our hearts to someone and they don't want it or are not ready to take it.

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