Living in the here and now...
Happiness and Contentment
Last night I stayed up until 2 A.M reading Pauls old Love Letters. It took me nearly a year and a half to be able to do this. It was in the beginning of our Love. When we began to admit what we meant to each other. You see... 4 months into the relationship he was called back into the Army. He went to Germany for 6 months. It was the longest 6 months of my life (excluding grief of course).
We really got to know each other through correspondence. Oh he was so romantic and sensual. How I miss that part of him. When Sept comes it would be 3 years ago when sickness then eventually death took him away from me.
Was it that long since he told me how beautiful I was?
Was it that long since he made me feel that I was the only one in the room?
Was it that long that a simple look told me everything that I needed to know?
Was it that long since we made plans and dreamt of our future together?
How long before I can take this life given me and let go of my past to embrace the future completely? How long will I yearn for what was but what will never be again? How long before I can smile to the bottom of my soul and be happy and content with who and what I am?