Living life and beginning again (over and over)
I was happy once and I will be again
June 27th 2012
My birthday is in 2 days. How can I have survived without my Love for 2 1/2 years? I have grown, learned more of myself and what I can be, discovered my independence and found that I selfishly do as I please to find out who I am. I have grown so accustomed to being alone I wonder if I can co-exist with anyone. By that I mean if I could allow another man in my life. I still feel that I am not ready for such sharing of the heart since mine had been broken beyond repair.
For all those that are beginning grief or a year or so in I wanted to let you know that it does get better in that you begin to enjoy life oh so much more knowing how precious it is.
I just came back from Niagara Falls. I went with My sister-in-law and my son. I wished him there as I viewed the beauty that lay before me. But the awful hurt and anguish was not there. I was able to enjoy the moment as I was meant to with awe and amazement.
But there are still times, and I guess there will always be as my upcoming birthday that I wish him here and the loneliness sets in. I do not cry but rather sigh knowing that this is my life and I had better live it as best as I can. Do not waste your life wishing what can not be as I have done. Perhaps it is only natural to want what we cannot have. But in my growth I try to embrace the life that stands before me and I hope that you can too. My best to all of you traveling this long hard road of grief. It will show you how strong you can be and how you now know what is important and what is total BS.
And as always...one breath, one step at a time