Long road

by Zoe
(NJ)

I have been separated from my husband over a year now. I was married 28 years and my
Husbands father died. After his death my husband changed, he was no longer happy or content any longer. I have a daughter whom is 26 and a son 23. My husband left and met a younger women and does not send any support he left me with House bills and college debt. I filed for divorce in May, and I am going through a tough time, emotionally and financially. My children do not speak to him for 9 Months now.
Tough times!

Comments for Long road

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Sep 15, 2014
Long road
by: Doreen UK

Zoe these are tough times indeed when a marriage breaks up. You would think that the longer one is married that you feel secure enough to not think that your husband would go off the rails after losing his father. Somehow we are finding out that more and more couples endure a strain in their relationship when they lose a close family member. This is not true for every family, but it can happen. Usually when the children are all grown up, as your children are, that any partner can find themselves feeling alone and wonder more about how their life has been and where it is going. A lot of men start to think. "Is this all there is to life"? Work, Work Work. With little time for down time and some pleasure. If a couple has been able to balance work and pleasure throughout their life they are less likely to feel disillusioned by life's changes as they get older.
If you have been left with debts all you can do is to try and downsize if you have your own home and can do this. You can start to sell off items in your home via a garage sale. You can rent out a room in your house or rent out your garage to help bring some income in to help you now. Or you can sell your home and buy a smaller unit now your children are grown up, if they are not still living at home. If they are living at home they may be able to contribute to the house expenses if they are in employment and earning money.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 2yrs. ago and now having to think the same way of forming some income to help me with house repairs. It is a difficult time for a woman struggling to cope and juggle things around. You can also get some support from other people who have been through this and survived. Everything at the moment will make you feel that you don't know where to begin. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Put a plan in action and prioritize. Just don't ignore what is happening and be tempted to not cope with it all. Section things off and it will seem less daunting. Make priority lists and add and subtract from them till you see things moving. Contact your debtors and let them know what is happening and ask for a payment structure plan since your circumstances have changed. Many will be understanding and able to accommodate you. Good Luck, and keep your chin up. You will survive this difficulty. Just don't do it alone. Get the support of your Adult Children.

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