by Jen
(A very cold Northern Ireland)

Hi all,
Im so completely full and had enough of this loneliness!!

I feel that now after over two years i now have the desire to go out and start to chat with people, i want to.

Im sitting here yet again on my own on a Saturday night. I dont deserve to feel like this to be in this horrific and desperate position, none of us do!!

Anyway just wanted to let you know how i was feeling.
I feel im ready to get a life. I need to..

Love to you all,

Jen x

Comments for Lonliness...........

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Jan 31, 2011
Dare I admit?


I must be lonely too. I come here for company and empathy, how pathetic is that? I will be honing my social skills taking 3-12 yr. olds bowling this weekend...Not. Oooooh I tremble with anticipation. Its fun but I would like to be an adult and have fun as an adult. perhaps (!) with an adult. Speaking, conversing etc. imagine that?!!

too embarressed to say;(

Jan 30, 2011
by: Anonymous

you can run but you cant hide. feelings dictate and define us sad but true

Jan 30, 2011
by: jules

Hi Jen - I replied to your post - but it must have got lost in cyberspace somewhere - I agree I don't want to be sitting home alone - especially on Saturday night - the traditional "going out" night. Didn't seem to matter staying home when you were a couple - get take away, dvd - relax together.

By saying this, doesn't mean that I am over grieving for John, but I need a life for me, I have joined clubs etc., but most of these things are through the week, or daytime on the weekend, not much happens on Saturday night. Though my lawn bowls club is going to start up a Saturday twilight competition - that might lead to going out for a meal or something, and get some different people into the club. I have also joined the squash club - meet some different people - who knows what might happen if I put myself out there.

Not a lot of consolation, but we are here for you -
take care
one breath - one step

Jan 30, 2011
by: Anonymous


Its a long and lonely journey.
You will get there,
you're a strong lady!!

Jan 30, 2011
by: jules

Jen - I know that feeling - alone! Trouble is where do you meet people in your own age group - with the same interests as you - ok join a club. They usually meet through the week - or in the daytime on a weekend - this weekend we had a big fundraising thing at my local bowls club where I am a member - but all finished by 6pm Saturday night - so I sit at home alone again.

I too am ready to get out and meet people, and I do, but no-one to share my Saturday nights with (Saturday is the traditional "going out" night isn't it?) didn't seem to matter so much when you were a couple - get take away, watch dvd.

Good to share with someone - where would we be without this site??????????????/
one breath, one step
take care

Jan 29, 2011
by: Linda(Quebec)

Oh my goodness as I read your words I could have written them myself except my hubby passed away only 6 short weeks ago . I don't feel lonely but so alone,does that make sense?
I have sat here crying so much my eyes hurt feeling so alone.
All I can say is if it is possible, use the coming 6 days to make sure you have something to do on Saturday.

Weekends suck because all your friends ,most of whom are in relationships or married have plans or don't want to go out .
I hope that maybe next week you can let us know that you HAVE gone and even had a nice time.
My thoughts are with you.

Jan 29, 2011
loneliness creeps over us especially at night...
by: Hope Faith and Charity


Its too bad your so far away...We would do something on a Saturday night instead of packing dvds or staring at the walls. Yeah we really do hafta start making a life for ourselves. Any ideas? Are there concerts there? What are some of the things that you have always wanted to do? Bungee jump? Nah? play the harmonica? nah I mean there has to be something...Hobbies to keep loneliness at bay.

I know that we want to do something WITH somebody. And it feels like we let off a scent of desperation that keeps "normal people" at bay. That green noxious gas stench of widowhood. But surely the better part of us is starting to shine through. Surely Somebody sees us for what we are and we are not as drab as we might see ourselves since we lost part of who we were.

Thinking of that song- Another Saturday night and I aint got nobody, I got some money cause I just got paid and how I wish I had someone to talk to, I'm in an awfull way...

I know Jen oh I know and I wish I had a way out of this loneliness. I would share it with you.
Music is a temporary lift. Shopping a short fix that does nothing except lead you to the poor house. I can tell you to keep busy but after a day of spinning our wheels, we still feel that all encompassing loneliness to which I do not know the cure.

Jan 29, 2011
by: Pam


You deserve it, we all will never have what we had. I am new to this, only nine weeks ago I lost my husband. I sit at home every night after work, just going insane in the quietness. I managed to go to a jewelry party last week, but quickly ran back home as the others were getting ready to go to dinner and drinks. I can't face the world yet. I didn't even put an obit in the paper, just did not want people that were only social friends to know, as I did not want people dropping by for a visit.

I don't know what it will be like two years down the road, but I hope at that time I will want to socialize. Your husband would not want you to sit home alone, just like if the situation were reversed. I think we all need to do what makes us feel comfortable. Try to have a wonderful time!

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