Looking for Faith and Hope
by Carol , Seans mom
Three months ago I lost my son Sean. He was 24 and just did not wake up for work. Our living nightmare began. He is gone now. How does this happen? We had plans that day. We were suppose to be somewhere. We had plans going into the next week. We had plans for Christmas,we had already talked about all this stuff. We had plans for his 25th birthday April 6th. Why would I think this stuff would never happen? Because I believed it would just happen. Now I am confused about what to believe in. I am scared to think things will be ok because clearly that didnt work for me. I was always a mom who believed everything would work out. I really dont know what to think anymore. I want to have hope and faith. I want to be the mom I use to be for my girls. I definitely struggle each day knowing I can not see Sean and do the things I wanted to. I cant believe it most of the time. I loved him so much. The pain has been unbearable. I have gone from outgoing to quiet. I have gone from helping people out to just wanting to help me and a few close family members. Sean's death has changed my life and who I am. I hope I can find some faith soon. If anybody has seen hope and faith,let them know I am looking for them.