Loosing both my daughters in six years

by BJ Blair

Life seemed to begin for me again after surviving the loss of my highschool sweetheart/husband at 34 years old the next day after his carwreck. Until I received the phone call my beloved Tammy had suffered an anseryamn three days later un-plugged being brain dead. There was 20 years difference in my girls Nicole was the baby who brighten my life as sunshine with her smiles. Feeling confident she would always be around to take care of her most loved mom we enjoyed the short 32 years of her life setting goals for ourselves to enjoy her first born baby girl. Every morning we call each other on our way to work wishing each other joy for the day. Dec.15,2010 she called to say Mom where are you, my reply, on my way to work where are you honey, Mom I am on my way to the ER I cannot handle this pain in my stomach anymore. December 16th a message to both of us my precious angel had cancer spread to many of her vital organs. Shock, disbelief, a feeling beyond expressing in words not knowing we only had 13 wks to spend together. March 16th, 2011 Nicole telling me: Mom I'm 32 yrs old too young to die, I want to go to a research center I will do anything to try and live. A few minutes later me driving to pick up her meds five minutes away to return with an ambulance leaving my driveway she had fainted in my absence. When I arrived at the hospital the Doctor had pulled another patient's record bby mistakeand given Nicole an injection to reverse all narcotis from her body sending her into a grand mal seizure leaving her in a coma to never respond again to Mom and slipping away 46 hours later to a place she's found un-speakable peace. My prayer is no other mom and daughter will ever experience the horror by the mistake of a doctor who not only never documented her neglect to a patient at her mercy or had any words to a mother who stood by her child helpless. I cannot find the words to express the depth of my grief.

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Jun 17, 2012
When I read your post
by: Anonymous

I wanted to ask this question: Why you? I have been asking the question "Why me?" for six months since the death of my oldest son. I had some heavy burdens afflicting my family (two other sons afflicted with severe and at times life-threatening chronic health issues, myself with chronic painful condition). I had fought and kept faith but since my son's death by accidental overdose I am in doubt and it makes it even harder. I have added "Where is God?" question and "Is there God?" question. My marriage of 23 years is so strained that the "divorce" word has come up. I feel sorry for myself but I am humbled by your pain. May you receive the blessings of peace and trust in God and his goodness.

Jun 07, 2012
So sorry
by: Paula

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry and feel your pain. I lost my father 12/01/12 and then my son was murdered 12/02/12 so having to endure two losses I can relate to the utter pain you must be feeling. I felt robbed, i can only imagine how you felt/feel still. All my prayers are with you and I hope you can find some peace. I admire your courage and send you hugs.

Jun 02, 2012
Dear BJ
by: Anonymous

I am a mom who has lost an adult son to suicide. I know the extreme pain the tragic loss of a child brings. Even so, I have no words. I draw a blank. But I can listen, provide comfort across the miles and be a friend along our journey. I've had a head start and discovered that joy is possible again. Please write me at impossiblejoy@yahoo.com. When you are ready, I will be there. Blessings, GT

Jun 01, 2012
by: Anonymous

you have been through so much, I can not even begin to imagine all those losses. Why one person has to go through so many I will never understand. I have no words just wanted to say I'm sorry and send you hugs. Ann

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