Loosing my Mum at 18

by Emily
(Scotland)

I went out on the Monday night like i did most nights,saying bye to my mum and dad and telling them i loved them. Coming back to the house at around 1am everything seemed normal, i climbed into bed and fell asleep. I was awoken by the screams of my dad, screaming my name over and over then bursting through my door screaming something was wrong, something was wrong with my Mum.

Seeing my mum lay flat on the floor with no movement,theres no way to describe the fear that ran through me. Checking for a pulse i began to scream there was nothing, nothing at all. I phoned an ambulance while my brother began cpr. I watched as he tried with every second to save our mum as she lay still on the floor. I know i couldn't have done that to have been as brave as he was and i'm the student nurse.

I knew she was gone, i had known she was gone from the moment i seen her body lying there but that doesn't stop the hope that there'll be some miracle because your mum couldn't leave you when your only 18 that just wouldn't happen. After 12 hours sitting by our mums side in intensive care we were told she was brain dead and there was no way she could come back from the massive bleed that had occured on her brain. The moment you sit in a hospital chair facing a group of doctors and nurses as they tell you that your gonna have to live the rest of your live without your mum, that she'll never see you graduate, get married and youll never have a chance to make her proud is the most horrific moment of yourlife.

My mum was my best friend, she had always been. She was a nurse and spent her whole life caring for other people. I
would give anything in the world just to be able to hold my mum again, for her to tell me everything was gonna be okay,
and no matter how long passes this never feels more real. 3months have passed and i still spend most of my days in tears trying to avoid my house and my family as it brings back the horrible memories of the day my mum died. The thought at 18 of living the rest of my life without my mum is daunting but i know i need to do it for everyone around me, just wishmy mum was there to tell me how.

Comments for Loosing my Mum at 18

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Jul 11, 2012
So sorry!
by: phyllis Pickett

i was 50 when I lost my Mom & I know how hard it is to loose the best friend you have in the whole world, especially you are so young, Keep all the good memories in your heart. talk to her, know you will be with her again this time forever. Still I know well nothing anyone says can heal the pain, I lost my youngest son 7 mths ago, I know my life will never be the same, we must learn to live without them til we are rejoined, I will pray for you sweetheart! Start a new Hobbie, get out & do things, even if it is only walking through a pretty walking park or brousing neat stores, God bless you!

Jul 11, 2012
Thinking of you Emma
by: Jillian

Dear Emma,
You must not think that because you are a student nurse you should have reacted differently. when you are emotionally upset/traumatised you do not have the professional detachment you will have on the wards.
What a terrible shock for you. Please give yourself time to heal from this massive blow. I lost my mum six weeks ago although I am older than you it is still an enormous blow. I believe we always need our mums and there will never be a right time to lose them.
Do try small goals every day, every one will be an achievment.
I send you my love and best wishes at this very sad time. Jillian


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