loosing my sister
i lost my sister when i was 17
she was 20 a car had hit her and she did not make it i was in the scene when this all happened.this image still haunts me, after this i did not sleep until it was 5 in the morning i would lay in the dark and tell myself she's fine she'll come home soon enough..
i can't sleep with out my night lights unless someone is in the room with me i never use to be like this i was perfectly fine sleeping in the dark by myself.Its almost been three years and i still don't know how to feel half the time.sometimes i just wake up and go back to sleep some times i wake up and cry because i had a dream of her.Or i just tell my parents i don't want to get up i want to go back too sleep,sleep is like my bestfriend.
in public I'm perfectly fine,I'm busy I'm not thinking,i do whatever when i catch myself thinking it all just gets to me and feel guilty because i could've done something to save her..two of my best friends were in this scene also but i rarely ever speak to one the other she's my bestfriend still.
my mom does not talk about it unless she has a dream
my dad talks about her when he's drunk
my older brother does not say anything he bottles everything up
my twin brother is short tempered
i just try to go day by day sometimes feeling lost each day like what day i say when people ask me if if i have siblings.. like do i say well i have two brothers and… a sister well not anymore so i guess i don't..its just frustrating..
she past away nov.4.2011