loosing my sister

i lost my sister when i was 17
she was 20 a car had hit her and she did not make it i was in the scene when this all happened.this image still haunts me, after this i did not sleep until it was 5 in the morning i would lay in the dark and tell myself she's fine she'll come home soon enough..
i can't sleep with out my night lights unless someone is in the room with me i never use to be like this i was perfectly fine sleeping in the dark by myself.Its almost been three years and i still don't know how to feel half the time.sometimes i just wake up and go back to sleep some times i wake up and cry because i had a dream of her.Or i just tell my parents i don't want to get up i want to go back too sleep,sleep is like my bestfriend.
in public I'm perfectly fine,I'm busy I'm not thinking,i do whatever when i catch myself thinking it all just gets to me and feel guilty because i could've done something to save her..two of my best friends were in this scene also but i rarely ever speak to one the other she's my bestfriend still.
my mom does not talk about it unless she has a dream
my dad talks about her when he's drunk
my older brother does not say anything he bottles everything up
my twin brother is short tempered
i just try to go day by day sometimes feeling lost each day like what day i say when people ask me if if i have siblings.. like do i say well i have two brothers and… a sister well not anymore so i guess i don't..its just frustrating..
she past away nov.4.2011

Comments for loosing my sister

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 22, 2014
losing my sister
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your older big sister to a tragic death by accident.
Everyone grieves differently and you will just have to try and let them process their grief without feeling ignored or forgotten. You could take yourself off to a grief counsellor for support and guidance that will also help your family. Death is not easy to deal with in any way. I do believe it takes years to recover from losing a close loved one.
I lost my mum 11yrs. ago and it took me 9yrs. to recover from this loss.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly cancer 2yrs. ago and this is my huge loss I won't recover from any time soon. WE just accept what we can't change.
In time you will heal and be able to get your life back. Don't put distance between you and your siblings. You all need each other more so now. Don't put your life on hold. Grief is a process you will go through and heal from. Be patient with yourself and your family. Stay strong for each other.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Sibling.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!