Lord, Help Me!

by Ruth Smith
(Jackson MS)

I lost my adult son March 19, 2011 to a massive heart attack. Ervin was only 50 years old and the pain and hurt that I'm feeling is almost unbearable and I cannot seem to go on. He was in the process of getting a high secret clearance for his job but had to take a job that was paying $12.00 an hour instead of $50.00 an hour until the clearance was completed. I failed to realize the stress, un-certainty, shamefulness and fear he was facing for over a year trying to maintain the standard of living for the family. Lord, please reveal to me what I could've done.

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Oct 05, 2011
God I Restoring My Life!
by: Ruth Smith

Hello Friends,
I have not been on this page for some time because I was so overwhelmed with pain that I had to take a break. Well, I went to the exact place of death for "My Only Begot" on his 51st birthday and walked the exact steps that was his last. I regained some peace and healing through Jesus Christ My Savior, and I talked to Begot and told him that it was alright. However, I am still healing, why, because we did not get to do the things that was planned. I have learned that God, in his loving way, know just when to intervene and take away the pain, hurt and fear that we all encounter during this tedious journey. So I'm asking all of you to just "Hold On" And Because He Lives, We Can All Face Tomorrow until our restoration is complete.

Jul 31, 2011
Lord Help Me!
by: Ruth Smith

Thanks to all of you who is traveling the same path as I am this day, July 31, 2011. It's been only four months since I received the sad news that "My Only Begot" was no longer here with Us, and I tell you It was like Jesus when the lady with the issue of blood touched the hem of his garment, and the virtue went out of his body because he knew that someone had touched him, but because of her faith she was healed. I to, When I heard the sad news, a lot of strength left my body which has not returned as yet, and my whole body and soul took on a lot of pain and hurt, but I know that in due time God will restore my strength, remove the pain and hurt, and I'm determined to keep the faith while talking to God each and every day to "Help Me". I have the faith that if does not see fit to remove the pain and hurt, "HE" will take the weight out of it so that I can endure. I wish the same for you as we travel this road together.

Jul 25, 2011
Thanks Ms. Jean
by: Ruth

I am so sorry for your loss Ms Jean, I know that from your words of comfort, you are a believer In Christ. It's only been a month since your loss, and as I lift you up in prayer please be encouraged while embracing the moments that the Lord allowed us to have with our sons. Thanks for your concern and as of this moment, I'm applying it to the healing. It's kind of like Jesus said when the lady with the issue touched the hem of his garment and was healed, one day I will be restored, "I can feel it"

Jul 24, 2011
Dear Lady
by: Jean

I lost my son on June 23rd. of 2011 so my grief is still too fresh to tell about but I pray I can be of some comfort to you. Sometimes the agony of living can be too great for our loved ones to bear and the only way out is the one they take. God allows for the weakness of man and so I know our sons are with Him now. He is all merciful and will be our comfortor too, if we let Him. Wish I might be able to hold your hand in this bad time we are going thru. But you have my prayers.

Jul 08, 2011
Thanks For Walking Along With Me.
by: Ruth

Hello There, PJ, Shirley and all of my Anonymous Friends who are walking beside me at this time; I Thank God for each of you respectively for the strength that you offer, realizing that we are all sharing the loss of a love one. It's OK to express our hurt with one another while in the grieving stage right now, which in due time will lead to healing as we attempt to let go, not of the love one, but of the pain. Even though our love ones are gone and we cannot see them, I believe that they are alive, just not here with us and watching down from above making sure that everything's all right. I received the parcel this pm and was able to feel, touch and embrace the personal items that was his a few months ago. My only hope for all of us is that one day we will see the heavens open and The Son Of Man standing in the place of honor at God's right hand and our love ones sitting humbly at His feet while saving a seat for us.

Jul 08, 2011
A Mother's Son
by: Anonymous

God bless you. For a mother to lose her child is an unbearable pain to bear. You have so much wrapped up in your child. No matter what his age the loss is deep.
If you believe in God you know you will see your son again someday. Take things one day at a time. Talk to God. He will listen and be there for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Jul 08, 2011
grieving mothers
by: Anonymous

I lost my son to leukemia 11 months ago, he was only 23 years old....as parents we think that we are supposed to be able to save our children from any harm that comes their way. It's a shock to realize that we are really powerless. There is nothing you could have done...it was out of your hands. It's taken me months to realize that. I recommend the facebook page "Grieving Mothers" and "The Compassionate Friends". You will need to tell your son's story over and over again and these are both safe places to share your pain. I am sending you cyber hugs and prayers.

Jul 08, 2011
Your Words of Comfort Meant So Much To Me.
by: Ruth Smith

Thanks Friend for being that comforter that The Lord spoke about. I hope and pray that you will be comforted by knowing that you are not alone and to can feel your pain. Although it's been two years since your loss and not quite four months for me, and today I'm expecting some of Ervin's personal items via FED/X that is being sent to me by his wife from Colorado Springs, CO., and the grief of expectancy was so pro-found around 3:00 am this morning, I had to pray, pray and then pray. Then I realized that this might be some type of closure and I will have some personal items to embrace. Please rest assured that we will get through this but we will never get over it while things will never be the same again, I know that it is God who is carrying us now.

Jul 08, 2011
His Time
by: Anonymous

Please do not be so hard on yourself. The Lord decided to call your son home to him, just like he called mine home in Jan at the age of 28. The only way I have been able to come to terms with him being taken is that it is Gods will and that there was nothing I could have done to prevent his dying. I have to put my faith in the Lord its the only way I can get through the daily sorrow and pain. We dont know why this has to happen and someday we will have our answer. Until then just pray and take it one day sometimes one breath at a time.

Jul 08, 2011
Lord send comfort please.
by: Anonymous

MY friend, yes, the Lord will hold you and never leave you alone. He will send comfort and love during your journey through grief. My mom passed away two years ago today. It's 2 a m and i'm hurting and alone. God is always with us even in the midnight hour when everyone else is sleeping. I'm praying for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Bless your heart. Keep the faith.

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