losing a child
by Sharon Richards
I lost my youngest son over two (2) years ago to cancer. He was only 9 years old.
I never imagine that grief could be so physically and emotionally brutal. Struggling each day to stay sane is a full-time job. I am employed and have a very stressful job that doubles as therapy for me. While I can function to full capacity at work, all I want to do after work is sit and watch TV and not engage in any social events. No, I am not clinically depress!!!
I am just sick of people telling me that things will get better with time - quite the opposite is happening to me.
I swear there is no more tears left in my 'tear duct". I get flashback randomly, with no obvious trigger it just happens...it feels like torture. I often feel that I should try hard to be a "bad person" to see if somehow I would feel better about the fate handed down to me and my family. Life feels stupid!!!
Each family member is trying in their own way to cope and I often feel bad if I don't seem stable in their eyes. it's a lot of pressure.
Throughout all of this, I am still hoping on to some sort of faith to get me through this rough time.