Losing a mommy at 4 years of age.

by Caitlyn E.

I was only 4 years old. my brother was at the age of 2. it was may 15,2003. the death of Allison Estes (felkner) I am now only 13 years old. i lost my mother to a murder by my father. my life is very hard. my friends and there mothers argue all the time. my friends will call me and tell me that they hate there mothers. i burst into tears because they have no idea what they are saying. without a mother being a teenage girl is very hard. and for them to say they hate there mom while they know i don't have one..hurts really bad. life without a mom and dad its a very depressing life. people say "ohh your a strong girl everything's gonna be okay" that's not true at all. everything is not okay!! if you lost your mom at a young age you would know exactly what i am talking about! people's words don't help at all. it just makes things worse.I wake up every morning depressed. people have no idea what i am going through. i know that if my mom was here she would just be suffering because of how badly my father abused her and that's the reason of her death. people tell me that i look like my mother. i just smile and say thanks but on the inside i am dying. life without a mother to give you advice, talk about boys, go places and hang out..sucks! i need the comfort of my mother. without her i don't want to live. its just not fair.:(

Comments for Losing a mommy at 4 years of age.

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Mar 02, 2012
by: A

Let her be your butterfly wings.

Mar 02, 2012
My sweet Caitlyn

OMG sweetie!!! I know you miss you mommy and so does your brother!! I think about her every single day, she was my best friend and it's been EXTEMELY hard for me to keep going but I know my pain in NO WAY AT ALL compares to yours and caleb's. I hope you know that I will always be here for you, I know I can't ever and don't want to replace her but I'm always here!!! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!


Feb 23, 2012
by: Caitlyn E.

thankyou! yall are so nice(:

Feb 21, 2012
keep going
by: Cora

No one will replace your mom for you, but there can be other strong women in your life who love you, support you, and help guide you. This can be an aunt, a treasured teacher, a grandmother. You are, and will be, loved by many others, who will want to help you and give you advice along the way. Your friends aren't trying to hurt you, and they don't really hate their moms, but they are just starting to try to learn to become independent, to form their own identities at their age. Maybe your path is to instead find yours along with love and support of some of your chosen "surrogate" moms. You are valuable. It is ok to feel weak and sad, that is how you know you are not crazy! But you will also know great joys as you go on in life, so don't ever give up. You also will have empathy for the pain that others in similar situations have felt. You are beautiful, and can do great things in life that will help bring you peace, if you choose.

Feb 19, 2012
by: Anonymous

thanks it really dose help to know that someone cares.

Feb 19, 2012
I'm so sorry for your loss...
by: Katelynn

Hi Caitlyn, my Mom showed me this post and it broke both of our hearts... again, I am soo sorry for your loss. I may not know how you feel but I sure do hope you will be happy someday and it's true words don't always help. BTW, I will be 13 in March and I don't know what I'd do without my Mommy and recently my Mommy lost her Mommy and so I feel very sorry for the both of you. Please keep posting because if you ever need advice about boys or anything you can think of my Mommy will be here for you too! - Katelynn

Hi Caitlyn, this is Katie's Mom and what she says is true. If you ever need anything you should post it because I'm sure all the Mom's on this site will gladly listen and give you any advice you need.

Sending much love your way,
Katie and her Mommy! :-)

Feb 18, 2012
You have to be strong
by: Veronica

You do have a tough life and it does suck that you have been cheated of not having your Mom to be there to help you grow into a young woman. Since nothing anyone says or does is going to make it better for you its up to you to do it for yourself. Why don't you think about helping some other children that need love and attention. Some times helping others that are also hurting makes your pain a little more bearable. Also maybe you can think about creating a tribute to your Mom. Maybe a piece of art or put together and hold a fund raiser to help abused women and children in the memory of your Mom. No one should have to suffer like you are and I wish that the world was a kinder place but we have to always stay positive and focus on how we can make things better for both ourselves and others in need.

If you need a pen pal I'll be there for you.

Look in the mirror and smile knowing that your Mom loved you and is looking over you and likes what she sees.

Best to you,


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