Losing Barry, my sweet son.

by Chris
(Virginia Beach, Virginia)

The call came just two weeks ago just before dawn. Always, a call at that time is scary. My son was a heavy drinker from the age of 20 and caused my late husband and me untold pain. He was sober but died at the age of 45 just three days before his birthday. I am having a terrible time and just finished a long cry, the second one since his death. I feel, or to be or accurate, feel nothing, just numb. I need to be strong for my daughter who was also close to Barry but do not know how to do that without stuffing my feelings. My heart is broken, not in two, but in a million little shreds and I do not know what to do next. Since this is suppose to be about me, I will not say too much about Barry now, he was very loved but lived a tragic life due to excessive drinking. Thank God for my big black dog, he is a big comfort. I need to go to the bank, shop for food and just can't get in the car and do it. Maybe after writing this I can.