Losing David ruined my life

by Linda
(Tucumcari, NM)

My son, David, was sick most of his life. We just didn't find out what was wrong with him until he was 18. He had what is called AutoImmune Hepatitis, a disease which attacks the liver like it is an enemy. He died in 2008, when he was 23, of Cirrhosis of the liver. I was working at a prison at the time, and struggled terribly to stay afloat. I finally quit the prison, which was 60 miles from home. I then started working at a Hospice in my hometown, as a Social Worker. I am on the verge of being fired because I cannot function in my job. I feel like losing David four years ago ruined my life. I am not sure what to do anymore. I think I am doing better, and then this happens. Yesterday, I was brought into my bosses office and written up. She has pretty much told me that she doesn't think I can correct the things she wrote me up for, and that I will not make it much longer. I want to make it right, but I don't know how. I just can't seem to concentrate, and I feel like I am completely falling apart.

Comments for Losing David ruined my life

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 11, 2012
Put your life on hold
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. It is horrific to lose a child we birthed or adopted from any cause. No matter what caused his death, it did not cause yours. You are hurting and the pain is torturous, but it won't always be that way. At a few years out from the day our son died, I can finally say that the pain waxes and wanes. It is no longer the intense pain at the beginning and there comes a time when you can focus on things outside yourself. But give yourself time to heal. If you don't have to work right now, don't. When we are in deep pain, it is impossible to do our best or be our best, but others place high expectations on us because they don't carry the pain day in and day out. So be kind to yourself. You will develop a new you. You won't be the same person, but better in some ways. At least that is what happened to me. The after mom in me is more aware of others in pain. I am less superficial. And above all, God had a hand in it. He is my Rock. He is there to be everybody's Rock. You may write me at impossiblejoy@yahoo.com. I keep in touch with grieving families. Blessings, Gracie

Oct 09, 2012
David's Mom
by: Anonymous

Losing a son is so painful. I too lost mine but with God's help we can go on. Our families need us now more than ever. Find your joy in them. We can never bring our loved ones back but we will see them again.. God comfort you in your sorrow.

Oct 05, 2012
Losing David ruined my life
by: Doreen U.K.

Linda this is an awful thing to have happened to you. Losing a son is a traumatic sudden loss. You will have trouble concentrating. it will affect your functioning in your job which is why many people are signed off from work.
Because you are a social worker a lot is expected of you. The demands are high. Social workers are human and suffer the same losses as one who isn't in the arena of "The Caring Profession". Your responsibilities are higher.
You should urgently seek Grief Counselling. You will be able to work through your losses and this will help you to recover from where you are right now. don't lose time. Put this need into action soon otherwise you will end up with depression and you need to stop this happening othewise it will take you longer to Heal from your Grief. Death does Ruin our life. It changes us and we lose a lot of ourselves. As a mother we will hurt forever from our loss of any of our children.
I hope your find comfort and Peace from your sorrow and grief.

Oct 05, 2012
No IT Hasn't !
by: Anonymous

Linda, i'm sorry for your loss. You need to get into counselling and fast.. None of what happened is your fault. Please let your bosses know that you are seeking therapy and go and then knuckle down at work. Your son would not want this for you. HE is with God and you must move on and do good for him and yourself. You owe that to him. Please don't let yourself spiral downward anymore. You need your job and you need to do well.

Oct 05, 2012
Losing David ruined my life
by: Wondra

I am so sorry for the lost of your beloved son. No matter how he died or when he died, you will always miss him. Your life has changed. You are suffering. You miss him throughout the day everyday. Please develop coping skills that can help you through those periods of grief. Don't let anybody dictate what work is right for you. You decide. You can make things right. You buried your child. You picked how where and how he would be buried. You planned his departing/memorial service. You cared for him since the day he drew his first breath. There's nothing you can't do. You can make things right on your job. Develop a plan of action to make corrections/adjustments. Ask for help. Don't accept the boss' perception of you or your skills. There's nothing you can't do. You buried your kind, loving, adorable son. You can do anything. If you want, you can do that job. If you don't want to do that job, then don't, but there's nothing you can't do because you are living without your son and your insensitive boss is not. May God continue to bless you and be with as you live without your beloved son.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Adult Child.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!