It has been a year since I lost my mom and I think of her every day. She was such a profound influence and part of my life. Everything reminds me of her. I was lucky to have her as my mother as she was the ideal in so many ways. She was kind, patient, loving and wise. She was a great friend to me as well. I regret that I was not a better friend to her. I did not want to acknowledge or discuss the day she died because that is not how I want to remember her. I will always recognize her birthday. Despite my thoughts on this,I can't seem to not think of it, which I guess is normal. Thanksgiving and Christmas were terrible times this past year and I fear they will continue to be for some time. I struggled to get through these times and days. My mom loved traditions for family and instilled this in all of her children. It is hard now without her. I wish I could run away and hide sometimes but I am the one that carries on her traditions for the family or tries to. It is the most difficult loss I have ever had to deal with.