Losing my 11 year old only little brother and father on the same day in a head on car accident...

by Stephanie

Hello everyone good afternoon my name is Stephanie, 20 years old and I would like to share the misfortune I was handed July 7th, 2011. My family consisted of my mother, father, little brother and myself. I moved out and started a family young and moved about 3 hours from my little brother, mother and father. Anyways long story short July 7th 2011 upon arriving home from work I found out that my dad and brother were involved in a head on car collision with a trash truck the size of tow truck. My younger and only brother age 11, was killed instantly, &my father was in critical condition and was not sure if they would be able to stabilize him. Upon arriving to the hospital after about 2 hours on the road to get there I walked in the room of my father disconnected from all life support, succumbing to his injuries in the car accident. It is now approaching the 1st year after this and it has struck me with a depression I just don't know how to handle. I pray everyday God will find a way to help me through this but I just at times feel like I have no hope... Not sure how to deal with this...

Comments for Losing my 11 year old only little brother and father on the same day in a head on car accident...

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Jul 04, 2012
Reply to Marilyn from Miami.
by: Stephanie

Hello Marilyn, I wanted to write to you and thank you so much for such uplifting words of wisdom and sharing with me your experience of loss. That is a quote that I never thought about until now that really is true to its words. Only the good die young. Which is also true for my case as well. He was such a great little boy that loved and cared about everyone's feelings and couldn't stand to see someone hurting or down. He was EXCELLENT in school maintained principles honor roll and was on his way to be in Jr High after this summer of 2012. After the accident happened my mom and I received a letter from the United States Eisenhower student ambassadors program inviting him for an all paid trip to Canada this summer to learn and explore Canada for free with only a chosen few students. Broke my heart to pieces reading that letter. He was 11 but could talk to elders as they were his close friends. I have to give that credit of us being like that to my father, who was a working man all of his life who made sure us kids were raised to have respect for our elders, and values to be honest and true to ourselves. I miss them both so much. Thank you for allowing me to share a little about my story to you Marilyn. &I pray for the loss of your husband will get even better. God bless and thank you for your comment! Stephanie

Jul 03, 2012
Stephanie, there is hope
by: Marilyn in Miami

I know how devastating this is for you and you are probably shocked that it is hitting you so hard a year later. You were probably in a state of shock last year and this is our body's way of helping us through something so painful.
I felt the same way when my husband died and thought I should not be so depressed when the one year mark arrived. It was even worse when it got to the 1 1/2 year mark. Now approaching the 2 year mark in September, I think I will be much stronger. All I can do at this point is wait and see, but I won't be shocked anymore, either way.
All we can do is go with it and cry when we need to. It is a long, slow healing process and we do come through it on the other side, but we will never, ever forget them.
I also lost my brother when he was 16 and I was 19. My grief for him has passed after 45 years and I think of him often with fondness and remember all the good times we had and what a perfect gentleman he was. Mother's don't make little boys like him anymore. The saying "Only the good die young" was made for him.
Don't rush yourself on your grieving process or think your abnormal in any way. If you hadn't loved him so much, you wouldn't be hurting so much
and you can't take that back. Just think of him fondly when you see a butterfly and know that his little soul is out there somewhere fluttering about. Prayers for you and your mom, Marilyn

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