losing my 23 year old son to TB Meningities
I am sheela, my son hari,2 years back in 2011 november, he was diagnosed with miliary TB meningities. He was on medicines regularly for one full year till Novemver 2012 and was taking 1 anti epileptic drug. He was fine till this september 2013, until the relapse of meningities was back with TB and the protein level in his spinal fluid was 1790. After struggling for nearly a month, I lost him to a massive cardiac arrest on 15th October 2013. My son was very sweet, caring, happy go lucky boy. He loved his mummy the most and wanted me to be happy and smiling. I lost the breath and spirit of my life. How do i go on living? It is unbearable. I just want to end myself and go to him but for my daughter and husband I have to live. I just curl myself up when no one is there and cry,why cant he come to me and show himself. Anguish, despair, sadness and to want to end your life is what is on my mind. No one understands and tells me it is fate, destiny and he was destined to live for 23 years. I cannot accept it. life is meaninigless a big zero without him. Help me God to endure this pain and let me go to him soon.