Losing My Baby Girl

by Carli
(New York )

I lost my baby girl. She was an 11-year Chihuahua that I had for 6 years of her life. She was a joy, loved to cuddle and play. She had a bad temper like her kind of breed normally do. She would run after people and dogs all the time but never attacked anyone. That night she died she was running after someone. I was taking the trash out and she followed me. She went to pee on the lawn like she normally does. She normally just pees and waits for me at the porch. But this time she didn't. I live on a busy street, lots of traffic and cars. I just remember looking up and seeing her in the street. I screamed her name and she started walking towards me. She was looking straight at my angry face when the car hit her. I began screaming for my brother who came out right away. I stopped traffic and he got her out the streets. I began to scream if she was okay and he told me not to get near the body. I just remember telling him if she dead, make sure she dead I don't want her suffering. He told me to go inside and calm down. I'm epileptic and stress triggers my seizures. He went to call a vet. I went back outside. I remember seeing the back of her. I pet her and told Mami here baby girl, everything will okay. I didn't want to see the front of her. The image of her getting hit was traumatizing enough. I just pet her soft fur and telling her I was sorry Baby girl. She was so little (6 pounds), So loveable. She was given to me 6 years ago because the owner didn't want her. She was used for her puppies so she had a bad start of life. When I got her I was a depressed 16 year who just moved to a new state. I've gained 60 pounds in a year and didn't leave my house. My mom worked three jobs and I didn't see her offend. My mom thought getting me a dog would help me with my depression and it did. She was a joy. Brought light back to my life. It so amazing what something so small can do. Everyone knew my love for her and I got so much support from those who knew me. I'm starting to see a therapist for my depression. I have high hope that I will move on but it will take time. This summer will be a hard one. I use to spend my summers home from school in the park with her or on the couch watching tv. Those who don't know me don't understand the magnitude of my loss. She was my child, what I looked forward seeing when I came home. Who I looked at when I woke up and now all I see is an empty bed. If she would have died of natural causes I would have felt better because it was her time. I wasn’t ready to lose her and still am not. I’m only 21 years old and have a whole life ahead of me, I just hope one day I’ll be able to look at her picture and smile because I was the mom to an amazing dog. Sorry for my poor grammar, I’m crying way too much to fix it. Thanks for listening to my story. It feels good to be able to write it down.

Comments for Losing My Baby Girl

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May 14, 2016
Thank you
by: Missing my Jezebel

I just read your story and it helps me so much. Just a few hours ago, my husband ran over my sweet furbaby and I watched the whole thing....I saw the look in her scared little eyes knowing she was in trouble and about to get hurt.. and heard the crushing noises...this is the second time jn het life she was hit by a car...both times she was just running ti mr like she always did and just didnt get noticed....the firat time she survived..she was my miricle furbaby...I tried to stop my husband but he was so angry with our boxer for dumping over the trash can (only. Little bit of trash was in there but she is bad about getting into trash) when he came through the gate.what is scary is it was almost me my husband hit. I started to walk in front of the car to pick up some of the trash and trash can real quick so he could pull into my spot when he slammed his foot on the gas and raced through the gate. The first wheel missed her it was the back wheel that got her....she was almost all the way acroaa to me and just prayed he would stopwhen I started screaming..... I was screaming and he didn't stop and I feel like it is all my fault BC I should if picked her up when I opened the gate like j usually do. I know that she was running to me and the pain just hurts so bad. I'm having her cremated next week and will plan the funeral this week as well. I'm so hurt...my husband hated her, but he feels awful about what he did. He just doesn't understand the greif I will experience and am experiencing. I showed her to our other 2 furbabies (not her face...it was too much) so they would understand. Our other was basically like a father to her. He is really upset and we are huge comforts to one another. Our cat is mad at the world right now, but he too is grieving with us. I'm so lost. U just want to be held and hugged. Now it's telling the kids....but u have to wait until Sunday. Please pray for strength. Thank you for sharing your story. My sweet furbaby was with me for 5.5years...she was a gift to me from my husband our first Valentine's together in 2011...God bless and may our furbabies rest in peace.

Jun 09, 2015
forever in our hearts
by: Malissa

Im sorry for your loss. My baby Iddy passed last night. He was 14 yrs 6 months old. My constant companion and my child. I am soooo lost. I can only find comfort by looking at his videos and cuddling his pet horsey. He slept and eat with me each day. I haven't eaten in 2 days cause he's not here to share with me. I hyperventilated today for the first time in my life. I only made it by going to church and not to the emergency room. I am sooo alone. I will be adopting two babies like him a asap. Only way I can make it without him. I will name them with part of his name. Be blessed.

Apr 22, 2015
me too
by: Anonymous

yesterday my sweet little rescue Brussels Griffon ran from the yard into the street. She was my life. The pain is overwhelming. If only I had been there. she was mine for 4 1/2 years, not nearly long enough. I miss her so much. How does one describe something so small, so vulnerable, so innocent, and so important in one word? I guess by giving it a name, and that name is Hettie. I would cuddle her face up to mine, cheek to cheek and whisper "love, love, love Hettie" and "Momma loves her little Hettie girl", and other sweet things. She would listen so close and push her cheek even closer to mine. Yes, she understood what I was saying. She knew she was so loved, so cherished, so treasured. She was the only dog that only loved me, no one else. If only I had been more careful and protected her more like she deserved and expected. She didn’t know about cars or roads or traffic, but I did. And I wasn’t careful enough. It was my responsibility to protect her and I let her down. Now I will pay with my tears and regret, my heavy heart and the longing for more time that will never be.

Apr 19, 2015
by: Jen

God bless you bless your heart maybe God thought it would be better for her to go when she did ,she helped you for those six years and now it was time for you to help getting help for yourself, but one thing always remember she still helping you guiding you when you think of her:) I don't know there's a reason for everything I hope you get better,xoxo

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