Losing My Dad and Losing Myself

by Jennifer

As I watched my Dad die from brain cancer last year, I became completely unhinged, and I have been that way for six months. I do not have a supportive home life. I am married to a combat vet whose PTSD has gone untreated. I have a special needs daughter adopted from foster care who got into drugs. I was being bullied at work. My grandmother is dying. During these my life six months, I have been hospitalized three times and been in two partial hospitalizations. I have been unable work and I am out on Short Term disability. My dad died a few months after my first hospitalization. This has been the worst year of my life. When will the pain end?

Comments for Losing My Dad and Losing Myself

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 01, 2012
Losing My Dad and Losing Myself
by: Doreen U.K.

Jennifer I am sorry for your loss of your father to brain cancer last year. For your loss of support from having a husband with PTSD. For the loss of self esteem by being bullied, and for your loss of relationship by having a disabled daughter. Then there is your own issues of being hospitalized 3 times. Of course you will feel so overwhelmed with it all and wondering what in heaven's name is going on. Also because of what is happening this will affect your self esteem and will leave you vulnerable to being bullied. Bullies are quick to pick up on this.
I have had a mountain also to deal with and because I believe in God. I said God " You said you wouldn't give us more than we can bear but would make a way of escape so we would be able to bear it." God "It doesn't feel as if this is happening" I have more than I can bear. It was then by my reaching out to God that He heard me and carried my load. God does stretch us to see how much we can bear. This is how he makes us stronger to bear our load in life. But LOSS. This is a whole other battle of its own where many of us find this is so overwhelming that we can't go on in life. Especially when we lose our life partner.
I am in no way minimizing your problems or want you to feel as if you are not heard.
When I look back at my life and see what I have come through. There is no way I could have carried that load by myself. God had to be carrying most of it for me. I am broken because my husband of 44yrs. died of lung cancer 7 months ago, and this is my hardest and most painful battle. I couldn't imagine my life and the world without Steve in it. Now I am all ALONE.
Jennifer You are in a lot of distress. Try and use the space for yourself to see a grief counsellor who can carry the load for you. Here you will be well supported. You will find this outlet very beneficial. I have done this counselling part for myself and it was the best investment I made in my life and in better mental health. It was the best support for me. Counselling will help also to build up your self esteem and leave you strong enough to handle bullies. I wish you well in your journey of life and that God may comfort you and bring you the relief and support you need to carry on with your life. Also try and get support for your husband with PTSD. This is not a problem that you could or should have to handle all by yourself. This is a special category that also needs specialist care. See your Social Services and set the ball in motion to get all the support you need from professional bodies. Best wishes.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Dads.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!