losing my dad is still a mystery to me

I am 29 and i lost my dad 5 weks ago he died on 9th of april 2012.i left my country to live in ireland, for 4 years ihave not been able to travel home to see my loving dad before his death. honestly i feel so miserable, life without my dad is sad one, i wished i had seen him and showed him how much i care for him ,i wish he had waited a little bit longer for me to fulfill all the promises i made to him.every day i still shed tears and tell him i love him , but can daddy see me ,can he hear me , i wish he can .If only i had given him a hug after 4 years it would have made a difference.some thing special is missing in my life but it pains me more that i cant find it again . Daddy , what a pain you inflited in my life , i wish we never loved each other. I am sorry daddy i can't stop loving you.Daddy you died praising the lord and for this reason i know you are in a better place with the lord. daddy can't wait to see u again on the last day for the dead in christ shall live again. i love you soo much and i am happy you made it to heaven. miss u.

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