Losing my dad

by Jason Dew
(Kansas City, MO.)


Somehow it's been 2 months since my father passed from a massive heart attack at the age of 55. In the beginning of July, I lost my granny to cancer and then days later my dad unexpectedly passed from a heart attack caused by high blood pressure. I basically lost 2 of the closest family members that I have within 5 days. What makes it worse is that I feel very alone as my mother and sister live 9 hours away in Nashville while I reside in KC where my father lived. To have no family around is very difficult during this time. I have a very good job but most days just feel like doing absolutely nothing. My dad was not only my father, but my best friend and mentor. My dad saved me many times and for the last 10 years has been the main person guiding me through life. I have a fiance, a loving dog, and many wonderful friends surrouding me on a daily basis, but now that dad's gone I feel completely alone no matter who's around. I only wish to speak with him one more time to gain some sort of clarity or guideance as I'm left in complete disarray. I've been a writer my entire life so jotting all of these emotions down truly does help, but for how long? I keep thinking about the day that my dad passed. I was only supposed to be in KC for a few days before we were going to fly out to my granny's funeral. My dad and I had lunch the day that he passed and had a decent conversation, it's tough to remember all of the details. About an hour before he passed he sent me a text message saying, "I love you son and I will always be here for you." He was directing that strength towards me b/c I was upset about my granny passing, but little did he know that those would be his last words to me. I would give absolutely anything to have that lunch with him again and just spend the rest of the day with him..maybe I could've helped more.

Comments for Losing my dad

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Sep 06, 2012
Losing my dad
by: Doreen U.K.

Jason I am sorry for your loss of your dad. This is a very painfull time for you. It is part of grief to not want to do anything. It is normal we all go through this. Only do what you have to and leave the rest. Give yourself time to grieve. Your Dad was a good role model for you. You have a good loving support group in a fiancee, dog, and friends to support you through this. It is painfull, like nothing you will every experience. THE PAIN AND GRIEF of loving and losing the dad you had. I am glad that you are also a writer so this will help greatly with your grief. You will heal from the creative writing. Keeping a journal and writing to your father is also very therapeutic. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 4 months ago so I also am grieving at the moment also. Time is all we have. Life will get easier with the help of others to sustain you through all your difficult moments.

Sep 06, 2012
Love you!
by: Melissa

I love you Jason. I think you are a very strong and hard working man. I am proud to call you my fiancé and I cannot wait for our future together. We will carry on the memory of Mike forever with our family. Everyday we will think of him and talk about him. Remember, keep your head up. I love you!

Sep 05, 2012
Thinking of you
by: Katie Denison

Jason-

This really really sucks that you're going through this.

When you posted on facebook that you had lost your dad, my heart hurt for you. I've had many friends lose loved ones over the years, but I was surprised by how your loss really tugged at my heart. We weren't close in high school and we haven't really talked in years, but I have thought of you several times in the past month. People say time heals all wounds. I don't really believe that's true. I believe over time...things get better. I lost my mom over 9 years ago, and some days that is still hard to believe. I still think of her often and as I hit certain milestones in life, losing her seems like yesterday.

All I know is that over time, it has gotten easier and easier. I learned to live with and appreciate all that love I have left in my life. That is what has brought me the most comfort. And as time has passed, I no longer feel alone. Every time I'm missing her, I write her a letter. If she can't hear me, God must...because I always feel better.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'll be thinking and praying for you. If you ever need anything, let me know.

Sep 05, 2012
Sorry for your loss
by: Igor

I've lost my dad on the 12th of july, at age of 62 due to a brain aneurysm. It took 4 days to lose him.. and it (brain aneurysm) happend while I was on vacation. I've lost my 1st grandmother and grandfathers at a young age. The last one I was about 20. Losing your is dad is an ubearable feeling. And the loss of 2 important persons must be even worse if possible. I have the luck to have a loving family in my life. But further from that I know the feeling, only wanting to talk to my father. I miss him like hell and feel shut for the whole world. I feel like you feel, losing your best friend. I hope you will find the strength to recover from this grief. As I hope I will. Think about your dad and laugh/cry about your memories. And life in his memorance. I'm so thankfull I have had my dad in my life and wish he was still here. Good luck.

Sep 05, 2012
You're Amazing!
by: Woody

Hi J, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and listening to your heart! You're an amazing young man with so much in front of you to look forward to. You've been pushed out of the nest into a fly or die situation. Honor your father, make him proud and show him what you can do with the legacy and love he gave you! He'll be watching your every move saying - "That's my boy!"

Sep 05, 2012
Nice Job
by: Anonymous

Truly beautiful! Keep it up!

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