Losing my father

by Val
(Goa, India)

I'm a girl of 22 years and I lost my father in November 2011, he had cancer.

I miss his absence now more than ever. It feels like he loved me more than any1 else and that now no1 loves me. I was his princess and he gave me so much more than any1 else. We spend more time together than my 2 brothers... But now he is gone and it really makes me sad and think -ve thoughts that no1 loves me.

I feel rejected, lonely and all the -ve feelings have cropped up I dont know y?

I also lost my Aunt in July 2011. I miss her too. I used to tell her the entire day's happenings... Y did they have to go?
What do I do about these -ve feelings? I feel like running away to some place that will cure me...! :-(

Comments for Losing my father

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Feb 08, 2012
You will find peace
by: Diane

Val. I am so sorry to hear about your lose. It is so hard to lose a dad. Sounds like he was your hero. I lost my best friend who was also my husband. He was a father friend and hero to our son. In talking to our son I can understand your pain secondhand. I also, lost my dad when I was in my 20's. Its been years ago, and he and I did not have the kind of relationship you and your dad had. People can tell you it will get easier until the moon turns blue and the sun turns brown and it will not feel like it. And you ask yourself why they think they know. You have had two major losses in less than a year. It is all new and the wounds are still raw and fresh. It is a pain like no other pain you will ever feel. You have a hard road to travel and at times it will feel like you won't make it.
But you will, I promise. And I am sure that there are people out there who love you, it just doesn't feel like it right now. And it diffently is not the same kind of love your dad had for you or you for him. But it is love just the same, and people would be devastated if you were not there anymore.
I know the feeling of wanting to run away. On a daily basis, when I get in my car I want to just drive until I run out of gas and where ever that is just crash and hide out for awhile. With the hope that the pain won't follow me. But I know it will. No matter where you go, there you are. Along with the memories, the pain the loss.
Your Dad's love for you will always be there, wrapped around you. Just as your love for him will never go away just because he did.
Just travel this hard road one step at a time.
Just breath, inhale-exhale, sometimes you will even have to remind yourself to do that. Don't expect miracles just take it moment by moment. Let that love wrap around you like a security blanket and know he is still watching over you.

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