Losing my Gandfather, Mum and Dad with 3 months of eachother

by Tracey
(Adelaide Australia)

Mum and Dad

Mum and Dad

My Grandfather died on the 17th of January, 2009; not the greatest start to the year. We knew the year was only going to get worse. On the 1st of December 2008, my Father was diagnosed with Melanoma, which he had a year before it had grown back with 3 lesions in the brain and 12 in his right lung. On the 2nd Of December my Mother was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease (MND).

As you can imagine Xmas was not quite a joyous time in the family home. We made it best we could knowing only too well it would be the last we had together as a family unit. We laughed a lot as a family, that is how we coped. Sure I was angry as all hell that my family was dying around me and there are low life crawlers as people still living.

My Grandfather had Bowl Cancer he was such a gentle man who I adored and loved very much. The night my Grandfather died it felt like my heart had been ripped out, I did not know at that time it was not be the only pain I would feel.

It seemed we just got over the harsh pain of losing our beloved Grandfather when Mum got worse her right leg had started to fail and her breathing was starting to labour. Knowing what MND does; it is called the Cooper Curse in my family, Mum was the 5th to die from it. Her body was failing her fast and I felt so helpless I couldn't do a thing to help her.

When Mum started getting sicker all of a sudden Dad had what we thought was a stroke. It was the lesions in his brain causing pressure. All of a sudden it became all to real; we were going to lose both of them. I knew I was in denial for a long time. It is so scary when reality slaps you in the face. Mum went into the Daw Park Hospice, Dad was still at home. On a visit to see Mum, Dad had a turn with his breathing, so from that day on he was in the bed next to her. A blessing really that they were together, they did everything together.

On April 4th 2009 at 23.50 Mum took her last breath. The pain I felt at that point was so consuming I could barely breath. On the 13th April 2009 at 02.30am Dad closed his eyes, I was not there when my Father died, I was ill in bed with the flu. I felt bad that I was not there also knowing that I was sick and it was the last thing other patients needed was the flu on top of what they already had.

My Father's death did not rock me as much as my Mother's, My Father and I didn't really see eye to eye on many things; I love him he was my Father. I feel so blessed that I got the chance to tell him I forgave him before he died. On his death bed he told me he loved me for the first time.

It is now almost a year since they have passed. I am not going say it has all been ok because it hasn't. It had been hard as all hell. There is a strength that sits deep inside of us you don't know it is there, then when you need it, it appears. I still cry for my parents and i believe I always will.

Comments for Losing my Gandfather, Mum and Dad with 3 months of eachother

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Jan 23, 2011
similar situation
by: Julie

I was moved by your story because of my similar situation. My mom died of complications of pneumonia, and heart trouble after 10 days in the hospital, on Dec. 22. My father, who had melanoma in the brain, and it had spread to many other spots, including his esophagus and lungs, died 8 days after mom on Dec. 30th.

Every day, all day, I think about them and miss them tremendously. I am having a hard time just functioning in every day ways. I am busy cleaning out their apartment, so am immersed in their things, which is helpful in some ways, but also, there is no escape from thinking about them.

I am a Christian, and they were, too, so I am comforted knowing they are together with the Lord. I just have such a deep sense of loss. I avoid being in crowds as I can't help crying a lot, and don't want to have to explain to all.

Mar 28, 2010
Strength
by: Greg Mapstone

Well it has been a year, and often it takes that long to feel again, now the reality has set in and well know that our parents have gone physically; but now they live within us, they will be there anytime we think of them.

You have done real well sweety, it just takes time.

Love Greg

Mar 25, 2010
3 deaths in 3 months
by: Anonymous

What a beautiful story.

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