Losing My Grandma

by Emma
(Manchester)

My Grandma had always been more then just my Grandparent she had stepped into the shoes of my Dad as he wasn't exactly the best Dad. She cared, loved and laughed with me and on September 9th she was taken away from me.

Friday 9th of September, my Grandma was still in the hospital after being admitted with Pneumonia one month earlier. After being admittted she was told two weeks into her stay that she had a tumour in her lung and it had spread to her liver. No one expected it, but she took it head on a lived with it and refused treatment due to the severity of it, we were told it could be years that she had. She didn't have years, she unexpectantly had two weeks. I visited her regularly, at least three times a week and at least twice on weekends. The day she died I had planned to visit her after college. I remember every single detail of that day. It was normal, I went to college at 10:30 I went to all my lessons, I chatted with my friends then it came to 3 o' clock. I planned to walk home, I always did, this time it was different I recieved a text of my mum saying she had come home from work early as she was ill so she would pick me up, that should have been the first sign, my mum never came home early even if she was extremely ill. I got into our car and saw a tissue tucked into my mums sleeve, she had a red blotchy face, I still hadn't seen the signs. On the way home I thought my mum would drop me of at the hospital as it was round the corner from college, she drove round it but I didn't say anything, that should have been my second sign. When we arrived at home I put my bag down and I heard from my mum that we need to talk, she looked nervous. I asked why. She looked me in the eyes and I finally got the third sign, she told me Grandma passed away this morning. I fell to the floor but wouldn't admit it. I visited family and friends with my Dad the rest of the day. They all got drunk trying to forget about this, I don't think any of us did.

She did simple things with me like watch T.V or cooked my tea when I went round and now it is so different because I don't have that anymore! I can't ring her up any more and I can't just walk round to her house, but for a few seconds each day I think that I can and they are the best few seconds of my day. After them the realisation hits and my world crashes around again.

My Grandma passed away from a colapsed lung on September 9th 2011 at 10:30. That's the detail I remember most clearly about her death I had just walked out of the house and one of the most important people in my life had passed and I didn't evem know.

I've never experienced this kind of pain before, I've known people who have died but they never meant as much to me. Now I know how it feels. I want to say I wish this happens to no one but I know it will, people will say it gets better, I know it doesn't and it never will, you just learn to live with out them.

Comments for Losing My Grandma

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Jun 17, 2013
Lovely note
by: A P M

I came across your lovely note and I just lost my beautiful full of life best friend and 93 year old grandma. My grandma was much more than just a grandmother figure. My first words of hearing she's gone from this world was "how can it be?" I was driving but I probably shouldn't have been. I'm just amazed at how grief stricken I've become. I wish I could feel my grandma near me I just don't yet. The pain right now is terrible, I hope it gets better for us both.

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