Losing my grandpa, my dad, and my step-grandpa in less than a month

by Whitney

Just recently my world was turned upside down. On April 20, 2010 I received a phone call @ work from my brother telling me that my grandpa had a heart attack, and his chance of survival wasn't looking good. I left work and went to the hospital where I found my dad, my aunt & uncle, & my grandma telling me they weren't able to save him.

We sat in the chapel for quite sometime talking about how sudden it happened, and he really hadn't had any prior signs of a heart attack. He was 86 years old. I was mainly concerned with my dad after grandpa's passing. He never dealt well with stressful situations. Dad was also having chest pains he expressed, but attributing it to congestion and allergies.

Exactly 2 weeks & 4 days later I get a phone call from the hospital that my dad was hunting & was in an accident. I drove 90 miles an hour to the hospital thinking he was in a hunting accident but he would be okay. When I walked in the emergency room I could hear my stepmother screaming NO & I knew it was bad!!! My dad had suffered a heart attack while hunting & they were not able to revive him. He was 58. The coroner said the heart attack was probably stress related. I might add that my grandma just had breast cancer & my dad had stepped in his father's role and was taking her to her radiation treatments.

If this weren't bad enough, exactly a week after my dad passed my step grandfather died. I am just overwhelmed with emotions right now, but mainly grieving the loss of my dad. I was his only daughter and we were so close. I hurt in a way I never knew possible!!! Until my grandpa passed I had never lost anyone close to me. Yes, I had lost great-grandparents but not a grandparent.

It has only been a little over 3 weeks since my dad died & I am still in shock. I am only 32 but have been seeing a doctor, because I also don't deal well with stress, & have been also having chest pains. I have always suffered from panic attacks & anxiety as did my dad. Mine has now become extreme!!!! When I did finally decide to go to the doctor I was reassured that I did the right thing. My blood pressure was extreme, and I was told I was extremely close to becoming manic.

I do have 2 children to live for so I do have to take care of myself. Is there anyone out there that can give me some words of hope, or has maybe gone through something similar. None of my friends have lost a parent. Not even my mom has lost a parent, so I have a hard time relating with anyone, & at times I find myself even being bitter & jealous towards others. I am also feeling so alone right now!!

Comments for Losing my grandpa, my dad, and my step-grandpa in less than a month

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Sep 13, 2012
I know how you feel
by: Melissa

I am so sorry to hear about your horrific time. I've just started to look online for help as I lost my father on the 20th August and my grandfather on the 29th.

My fathers death was sudden, he was 56, the fittest healthiest man I knew, my best friend, my hero. I cannot believe it. I am only 25 myself and I feel totally robbed and angry. What am I going to do without my best friend?

At the moment I am finding it hard to stay strong for my mum. We buried my dad last week and since his passing on the 20th I remained quite calm and I surprised myself a lot. But since the funeral I have started to feel how I initially expected, lost, tearful, depressed, resentful, no energy for anything, dreading returning to work on Monday etc etc.

So far I've had 3 weeks off, I've agreed to return on Monday and Tuesday but requested I take the rest of the week off as annual leave. How soon after did you return to work?

I am in a lot of shock about both deaths, although my grandfathers death was expected, I didn't imagine ever attending 2 funerals over 2 days together, especially not for my father.

I am so confused and feeling the pressure from work, I am dreading the return on Monday, I don't even want to think about how many emails I will have unread. I would really appreciate your advice/story on how you coped with this. I really do not know how people do it.

Many thanks
Melissa


Jun 05, 2010
UNBEARABLE PAIN
by: Down Under

Whitney, my condolences on the loss of your grandpa, dad and step-grandpa. I lost my father Aug 09 and the pain has been unbearable at times, I cannot even begin to imagine what you are feeling, and what you will feel in the coming months.

All I can say Whitney, is grieve all you need to and do not hold back with those feelings, if you feel like screaming, crying etc . . . what ever it is . . .do it. It will make you feel better and help you through the grieving process. It will take time and we are all so different with healing, but just remember you can always come to this site and know that we too have gone through something horrible, but we will all get through it together.

This site has helped me through the darkest cloud in my life and I hope it helps you through too. Take care. xo

Jun 04, 2010
Bless you
by: Elise

Oh Whitney you poor thing! I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose 3 close relatives in less than a month; and I send you my love. I do know how it feels to lose your Dad so suddenly. I lost my own Dad almost 10 weeks ago from a massive heart attack and I still miss him desperately! I had only seen him just over a day before, and so I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that was the last time I would ever see him.

Losing my Dad has made me feel that a huge part of me died with him, as I am half of him. I was so close to my Dad. He had been having chest pains for months and the Drs. were only concentrating on reducing his blood pressure. I was scared that I would lose him this way, but was not prepared for it to happen so suddenly.

Like you, I have two young children and you have to keep going for their sake. But it is hard, as I guess you will have days where you just wish you could curl up in a ball and let the grief take over you. My Dad was only 60, so young like your Dad. Your parents are the ones who raise you and protect you and when you lose one of them you feel so vulnerable and lost! Hang in there Whitney, you are not alone sweetheart!

Jun 04, 2010
Hope this helps a little...
by: Hope

First off keep reading, all of us are going through various stages of grief. This site has helped me through many dark days. Today would have been my husband's 46th Birthday. He too was taken much too early, like your father. It has been 6 months at 6/6/10. I recall the numbness and surrealness that first month. Going through the motions in a fog, unable to make the simplest of decisions, and yes that heavy feeling on my chest. Like heartburn but it's heartache.

You have gone through too much at one time. And I long to help you go through this. I have always been a calm caregiver for my father and my husband but this, changes everything and makes us wonder if we're strong enough to get through it.

You are, it's a painful process but remember the good times you had and how much you loved them. They are watching over you and it will be o.k. Take care of your self and be careful especially with driving. My heart goes out to you.....HH

Jun 03, 2010
Prayers are with you
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear this. It is hard enough to lose one family member, but three. Be strong for your kids. You will feel anxious, alone, jealous....a whole range of emotions... write what you feel, talk about it. Keep your family and friends close, even though at times you will feel like pushing them away.

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