Losing my grandpa, my dad, and my step-grandpa in less than a month

by Whitney

Just recently my world was turned upside down. On April 20, 2010 I received a phone call @ work from my brother telling me that my grandpa had a heart attack, and his chance of survival wasn't looking good. I left work and went to the hospital where I found my dad, my aunt & uncle, & my grandma telling me they weren't able to save him.

We sat in the chapel for quite sometime talking about how sudden it happened, and he really hadn't had any prior signs of a heart attack. He was 86 years old. I was mainly concerned with my dad after grandpa's passing. He never dealt well with stressful situations. Dad was also having chest pains he expressed, but attributing it to congestion and allergies.

Exactly 2 weeks & 4 days later I get a phone call from the hospital that my dad was hunting & was in an accident. I drove 90 miles an hour to the hospital thinking he was in a hunting accident but he would be okay. When I walked in the emergency room I could hear my stepmother screaming NO & I knew it was bad!!! My dad had suffered a heart attack while hunting & they were not able to revive him. He was 58. The coroner said the heart attack was probably stress related. I might add that my grandma just had breast cancer & my dad had stepped in his father's role and was taking her to her radiation treatments.

If this weren't bad enough, exactly a week after my dad passed my step grandfather died. I am just overwhelmed with emotions right now, but mainly grieving the loss of my dad. I was his only daughter and we were so close. I hurt in a way I never knew possible!!! Until my grandpa passed I had never lost anyone close to me. Yes, I had lost great-grandparents but not a grandparent.

It has only been a little over 3 weeks since my dad died & I am still in shock. I am only 32 but have been seeing a doctor, because I also don't deal well with stress, & have been also having chest pains. I have always suffered from panic attacks & anxiety as did my dad. Mine has now become extreme!!!! When I did finally decide to go to the doctor I was reassured that I did the right thing. My blood pressure was extreme, and I was told I was extremely close to becoming manic.

I do have 2 children to live for so I do have to take care of myself. Is there anyone out there that can give me some words of hope, or has maybe gone through something similar. None of my friends have lost a parent. Not even my mom has lost a parent, so I have a hard time relating with anyone, & at times I find myself even being bitter & jealous towards others. I am also feeling so alone right now!!