Losing my hero was quite a shock.
My dad passed away September 26,2012. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer exactly three months before, June 26. But he did not die from bladder cancer. He was stage 2.
My mom called an ambulance because my dad had been throwing up for two days and could not walk. She thought it was the effects of his second treatment of chemo. My dad was 73 and still working part time as a general contractor for his own company. He was a strong, smart, hard working man.
At the hospital they hooked him up to iv's and said he had an infection. The next day he was struggling to breathe. We believe the hospital over hydrated my dad and did him worse. The dr wrote on his death certificate as Septic shock.
My mom and I were there when my dad passed away. At first I wished I wasn't there, because it kept playing over and over in my head. But as little time has passed, I am grateful to be there holding his hand and seeing him go peacefully. It was like he went to sleep.
The hardest part of all of it, is that it was a shock, even the doctors were shocked that he passed. They thought he would get better.
Another hard part is that I am 37 female and I was a big time daddy's girl. I saw him every weekend almost. My husband worked with him full time. I feel that my husband has not been supportive and tells me that he has moved on. He has been cold and distant. I want someone I can lean on and talk to, but he makes me feel like I am dragging it out and I need to just "heal" and move on. I CAN'T, I pray all the time for healing and support.
My husband and I are not talking right now and he is sleeping in the travel trailor next to the house. I wonder if the grieving process has made me too sensitive or if he is just plain cold about it?