losing my husband of 17 years and being with him since i was 20

by nicole glenn
(milledgeville georgia)

my husband and i was together for all of my adult life lost him december 17,2011. my husband went to work on his birthday and went into cardiac arrest the worker at his job found him faced down don't know how long he had been down call the emt and begin cpr it took the emt 15 minutes to shock him into a rhythm again but husband never came to he was consider brain dead after taken him off the machine he lived 22 days he died in the care of hospice i stayed by my husband side from november 26 until december 17th i stayed at the hospital in the waiting room of the icu until her was transferred to impatient hospice i held his hand until he took his finally breath on december 17 my kids and i missed my husband and their father i have 2 girls 7 and 13 years old today iam sitting at my house we shared together i have been staying with my mom i just can't get over the fact that he is not coming through that door and saying babe what are you doing or just hearing his voice god it's so hard i'm trying to be here for my girls but i find it diffcult and hard each and everyday i need strength help my husband was the provider of the family

Comments for losing my husband of 17 years and being with him since i was 20

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Nov 04, 2012
Time will heal.
by: Mara

I lost my husband a year ago. Unexpectedly at 42 years old. I have 2 kids. He was my best friend, my savior and gave me unconditional love, he was the love of my life and more, we really became one. The pain was so deep that I couldn't even eat. I lost 29 pounds and got sick and very thin.Oh my GOD what a nightmare, all the feelings I read here from you are very familiar to me. I went to a grieving group and with a therapist with a clinical in grieving, it helped, but the best ally I have is our friend "time". Somehow, there is some strength feeding from the extreme pain, so, I want to tell you that TIME will heal little by little, the pain will have an evolution and eventually, you will remember him with more love than pain. I didn't leave the house for months, now, I go to the beach, get together with friends and I find myself laughing more often. My 7 years old son tells me "mom, don't cry, one day, we will died too and we will be together again" ....so, I hold on to that. We have to keep going despite the pain, fear, loneliness, confusion, etc. We will get stronger after suffering a tragic event like this. Remember, time and the hope that one day we will be reunited. Lots of light and love for you. Blessings.

Jan 07, 2012
we are with you
by: helen

Dear Nicole I ONLY found this site yesterday as I live in Scotland I too lost my husband on 1st November last year I wrote my story, well some of it as I could not write all that I have been feeling I wrote we had been together for 40 years but I meant to put 46 years, I was 18 when we met and he was 32 we just seemed to click soul mates we have 5 children grown up now 3 grandchildren I just want to say I had all those years more than you but grief hits us all the same I have had 2 comments from my story and it does help too know people care even through their own sadness they take the time to tell us how they feel I wish I could comment to them all, I know without God there is nothing no hope no love and no faith in s new beginning where there will be no more tears or illness may God be with you and us all in our sadness He sees and knows our pain and the suffering we must not let go of Him. give your children an extra hug and tell them how much you love them I do every day even as old as they are and I thank God for them and that my husband lives in them as your husband does in your children may God fill your heart with peace. Helen

Jan 05, 2012
Stay Strong
by: Anonymous

I lost my partner of 32 yrs 7 months ago. I have no small children but the advise of letting your self grieve is correct. It's ok to let your children know you are sad and it will help them thru the grieving process with you.

Jan 05, 2012
lost my husband too.
by: Angela

I lost my man 8 weeks ago.he was fine one minute gone the next.Unfortunately we just have to carry on.It is so hard to find a reason to go on but all i can say is take it one minute/one hour/one day at a time.Everyone here knows your pain sadly we are all in the same boat.I feel like i died the day Davie did and i miss him ALL the time.I am still hoping I will wake up from this nightmare and I would give anything to see him/talk to him again.I hope u carry on visiting this site it helps me when i am so low i cant even be bothered getting out of my bed.I wish i could take my pain,your pain and everyone elses pain away as this is just S**T .I am sorry for you and your daughters loss.Sending you my love,you are in my thoughts XXXX

Jan 05, 2012
losing my husband of 17 years
by: Mari

I am very sorry about the loss of your husband, Nicole. This is a terribly difficult time for you.
Your loss is very recent and I know how you must be hurting.
It takes time to work through the grief and there are stages of grief. Take a day at a time and stay close to the Lord.There will be days where you feel better and then days where you feel so sad. But you need time.The grieving process must be gone through.
I hope you have family and friends to be there for you.
You have come to the right place as there are many wonderful people on this board. We all care. Please feel free to post whatever is on your mind and heart. It also helps to stay busy and with loved ones.
I am starting my 3rd year without my husband and am doing well, most of the time. The holidays were not so great. He passed away on Nov 22 2009. He was sick with heart problems and many other issues.I sure miss him. At first I thought I could not make it through. I have found that I can with the Lords help.I also have 18 grandchildren and a little great granddaughter, I also still have my mom and dad.They do not live here but my mom emails me 2 or 3 times a day to see how I am.So stay close to the one's who love you and remember we are here for you. Take care.

Jan 04, 2012
You are supported and loved
by: Becky

Dear friend,

You and I have never met, but I am so sorry for your loss. Nothing can remove the pain you feel right now. Trust your family and your spiritual path to give you what you need because it is very difficult to give it to yourself during this time.

Ask for help from people around you. Ask them to spend time with your children, to give them love, joy and light. Ask them to just let you cry on their shoulder. The most loving and understanding family and friends will come through for you.

Don't try to be tough, don't try to rush through this process. I lost my husband 1 year ago and I cried my eyes out and the pain never seemed to stop. Slowly and steadily over time I had a good day here and there. More importantly, I had to pull it together for my 9 year old boy.

You have the strength and you will be there for your children. Be patient with your sadness.

Jan 04, 2012
Losing Our Love
by: TrishJ

First let me say my heart goes out to you and your girls. I lost my husband 13 months ago and still struggle with the grief. You are in the early stages of your journey. All you can do is take things one day at a time.
God has a plan for everyone's life from the day they are born. I wonder why I have to deal with the pain and torture of losing my true love. I was 19 when we met. We were married for 37 years. He is all I know of this life too. I know exactly where you are coming from. There is a reason for this that someday we will understand.
You have to take care of yourself. You are still in the shock phase and still don't quite understand what has hit you. A wise lady told me several weeks after my husband passed that things would get better. I didn't believe her. Thirteen months later I have come to terms with my husband's death. I don't miss him any less but I am learning to live my life without him. It's not easy but we strong women can do it.
Remember that he will always be with you, he will always love you and your daughters. Keep their dad's memory alive. They will love you so much for it. Remember the happy days and celebrate his life.
God bless you. Take a deep breath, talk to God and be good to you.

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