Losing my love
(San Diego, California)
Almost two weeks ago my husband passed away in my arms at home. He was diagnosed with a glioblastoma in June 2010. He lived 19 short months. My husband is a neurologist and diagnosed himself. He had two surgeries and went through radiation and chemotherapy. The last five weeks were horrible as he had to undergo emergency surgery to his colon- a complication from chemo. It was unexpected of course. I brought him home 13 days before he died.
We have 2 young children ages 10 and 14. I am struggling deeply minute by minute. The pain is simply unbearable. I have never felt pain and despair like this in my life. My life feels over. Everything we talked about for our future is gone. I can barely get up in the morning. I can barely walk. I can barely breathe at times. I am so anxious that sometimes I feel like I am dying.
I miss him terribly. My heart and mind aches. I feel like I don't have the strength for this. To get through this. I am just so unbelievably sad. I wish someone could help me.