Losing my Mom: It still hurts you know?

by Ashley

My mom died on November 14, 2007 when I was 10 years old and my brother, 9 years old from stage 4 colon cancer. In some ways I do feel that I have coped very well but in other ways not. I really miss her and I remember the couple weeks after she past away I would cry myself to sleep. I still do cry whenever I really think of her. Its just so painful losing someone when you are so young because you have more trouble remembering the person. I have a hard time remembering how her voice sounded like and other things such as that. I never really had anyone to talk about my mom's death with except for my dad but we never talked so much on the subject after her funeral. My school never noticed that my mom passed away so i have been basically alone this entire time. I really miss her but I know that there is a reason for everything and that she's in a better place. But, it still hurts you know?

Comments for Losing my Mom: It still hurts you know?

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 20, 2012
Losing Mum: It still hurts
by: Doreen England U.K.

Hi Ashley
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. You and your brother were so young and really should not have been left alone without support.
If your father doesn't talk to you about it, it may be because he is having a hard time dealing with this and he doesn't know how to look after your needs at this time which is a pity.
Do you have any other family e.g. Aunts, uncles, grandparents that could support you. I am surprised the school did not pick up on anything. It may be because you did not exhibit any problems of a nature that needed to be addressed by contacting your parents.
If you don't talk about your feelings of the death of your mum then this will affect your whole life and set the pattern for dysfunctional relationships harder to resolve later on. Better to deal with the pain now.
Find yourself a bereavement counsellor who will work with you both and help you to feel better and able to move forward. You can also keep a journal and write out all your thoughts to your mother and tell her all your concerns and worries and hurt and this will get it out of your system and help you feel better.
My husband died 6 weeks ago and we were married 44 years and I am finding it hard to remember his voice and how he looked before he got cancer. I also cry a lot. This is part of grief. Crying is a good thing as you are dealing with the grief and it won't last forever. It will eventually stop and you will cry less, but you will always remember but with less emotion.
I hope all works out well for you and that you get the support you and your brother need. This is so important. I hope you will follow up on this. I make your age out to be 15yrs. now and your brother 14yrs. You both need to look after your emotional needs and find a place where life will be happier in time.
Best wishes.

Jun 19, 2012
losing my mum it hurts you know?
by: Doreen England U.K.

Hi Ashley
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. You lost your mother at a young age and it must have been very diffcult for you and your brother coping with the sadness of the loss. It is sad your father is not able to talk with you and your brother about the death as you shouldn't be so alone with this tragedy. I am surprised that your school didn't pick up on your situation and grief. You must have covered it up well. If you are not coping with the loss of your mum try and get some counselling as it does help you talk out your feeling and be in touch with your past as you will build your future upon the past and understand the struggles for the Mum you lost.
Best wishes for the future and hope that you are now able to move forward with support. Best wishes.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!