Losing my mom
(New York, NY )
Yesterday marked the three year anniversary of my mom's death. I usually remember everything such as birthdays, deaths etc, but for some reason it slipped my mind. It was totally out of my character and I kind of think my mom did it on purpose so I can have a fun day with my three year old daughter. My daughter was three months old when my mother died and it was the my first time being a mother. When she passed away suddenly, I took charge and handled everything. My siblings did not offer to help in any way and just allowed me to be all stressed out, running all over the place and taking care of my three month old. I handled everything financially as well since my siblings did not have any money to help with the funeral and lawyers fees. That's fine and I understood. Instead of supporting me and each other, they turned around and accused me of taking all this money my mother did not have since she lived off of social security and a reverse mortgage to make ends meet. I was the only one who knew about the reverse mortgage because I had to sign over the house to her completely in order for her to get it. I wanted my mom not to struggle and worry about money anymore and I thought it made sense for her. My brother has been living at the house with my mom and my grandmother for years. When the mortgage company asked to be paid after my mother's death, my family thought I should take out a mortgage and pay for the house so my brother can live there. I am the youngest out of four children and just started a family. I explained it made no sense for me to pay for a house I am not living in and if that's the case, we all should pay equally since the house belonged to all four of us now (my mom did not have an updated Will). My sisters had the time to raise their family and now they expected me to sacrifice my family because they can not help. I expressed my stress to all family members and advised I no longer want any part handling everything anymore & left it all to them. Two years now and nothing has been done and my brother is now going to lose the house. When the house is gone, do you think my two sisters will help my brother? Absolutely not! I am the one who is always helping and taking care of everyone and yet I get accused of being this horrible person. I am the one who spent a lot of time with my mother. I am the one who would drop everything for her whenever she needed me. I am the one who called her everyday. And she was my best friend. My sisters got all bent when I was pregnant that my mom wanted to help give me a baby shower meanwhile they had several with each kid. It's been three years and I haven't been able to grieve my mother because of the selfishness of my family. They treat me like I am not related to them. They have gotten together without including me for the anniversary of my mother's death. It's not fair that because they were never there for my mother and haven't seen her that often that I should get the aggravation from it. Everything I did, I went through a lawyer so whatever money was given out, the lawyer disbursed it, not me. My health has been bad because of the stress my so-called family caused. No one makes an effort to see my three year old and no one seems to care about me. I learned now to let this affect me and just ignore the bashing I hear they do from other family members. My mom was such a big part of my life and the only person I truly trusted. Since she has passed, a feel a part of me has died as well. The only thing that keeps me going is my daughter. I have no guilt except I wish I did even more for her. She was even closer to my husband of two years rather than my other sisters' husbands who were married over twenty years. I loved spoiling her. My favorite time is when we did a spa day when I was pregnant and it ended up being a six hour day. Of course I treated her because she deserved the best of everything. There is nothing I would change in our relationship. I hope one day I would get some peace from all this nonsense.